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school assesses the behavior of people in conflict situations.
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Thomas and Kilman present 5 attitudes
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of conflict management
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according to two axes.
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are you more determined in the pursuit of
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your own interests or more motivated to cooperate?
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Are you more of a shark,
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We naturally adopt a favorite attitude.
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When faced with conflict,
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each attitude has its advantages and disadvantages.
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You can find easily a questionnaire on the internet or this platform
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to make your self diagnosis of your preferential attitudes towards the conflict.
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Are you more like a turtle when you face conflict situations?
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If you have little determination to pursue your
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interests and have little motivation to cooperate,
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you will tend to avoid.
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The avoid attitude is represented by the turtle.
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Turtles retreat into their shell to avoid conflict.
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They avoid both the subjects of dispute
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and the people with whom they disagree.
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The turtles have no hope of resolving conflicts.
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They feel helpless.
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They believe it is easier to withdraw by denying the existence of a
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conflict and keep the emotions of conflict to themselves rather than face it.
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Seeking to avoid problems and not wanting to make waves,
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they feel helpless to achieve their goals and then
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allow the stakes to escalate.
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When can being in a conflict avoidance attitude help?
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There are 4 reasons for avoiding conflict when the game
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is not worth the effort because it is temporary,
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when we know that we cannot change anything.
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To let in information about an underlying subject
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and to release tension
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to allow everyone to calm down before discussing
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if you are too avoidant
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and think it will limit conflicts,
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people will be afraid to expose problems to you head on.
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You will discourage them from seeking solutions with you.
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Problems are likely to escalate if they are not addressed.
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Decisions on important issues will end up being made for lack of a better way,
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and sometimes too late.
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If you are not avoiding enough,
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always going straight to the point when a conflict arises,
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know that your remarks may offend others and block the search for a solution.
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You risk inciting hostilities by putting oil on the fire to talk and act too quickly.
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Always wanting to get to the battlefield for the slightest incidents,
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you finally risk overwork due to the ever increasing
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number of problems that you have to deal with.
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Are you more of a shark when faced with conflict situations?
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If you have a strong determination to pursue
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your interests and little motivation to cooperate,
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you will approach conflict by seeking to impose yourself
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Sharks try to dominate their opponents by forcing
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them to accept their solution to the conflict.
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Their own interests are extremely important to them,
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and their relationships with others are less so.
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They seek to achieve their goals at any cost.
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They are uninterested in the needs of other
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people and have little commitment to relationships.
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They don't care that other people don't like them or accept them.
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The sharks consider
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that conflicts are resolved by the victory of one person over the other,
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even if it means using attack,
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or intimidation.
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They want to be the winners because winning gives them
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a sense of pride and accomplishment while losing lessens them.
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Their needs are generally met and their rights recognized,
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but often at the expense of others.
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At what point can imposing your views in the conflict be useful
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when rapid and decisive action is imperative,
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it is necessary to decide quickly
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to protect themselves from people who abuse and face competitive people.
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with these competitive people,
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seeking collaboration is to risk being fooled.
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To drive a painful but mandatory change,
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what are the risks of being too competitive in resolving a dispute?
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People will not dare to share their ignorance or uncertainty with you.
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They end up disguising their attitude.
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They run away from you or they join forces against you.
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What are the risks of not being competitive enough?
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You will feel powerless in the face of certain situations,
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unable to decide.
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You will leave room for doubt and lack of confidence.
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You will have difficulty taking a stand,
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especially when the decision you need to make concerns
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a group of people and not just you.
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Are you more of a teddy bear when faced with conflict situations?
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If you have a strong motivation to cooperate
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and little determination to pursue your own interests,
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you will approach conflict with a tendency to accommodate.
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For teddy bears,
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relationships with other people are very important,
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while their own interests are not.
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Teddy bears want to be accepted and loved.
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It is their primary need that outweighs their other needs.
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They fear that if conflict persists,
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someone will feel hurt
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and that personal relationship and harmony will be compromised.
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They act to calm conflict situations,
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presenting excuses,
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accommodating the proposals of.
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And justifying the behavior of others,
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when can being accommodating in conflict help
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to preserve harmony because it is at this moment what is essential to you,
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to allow others to learn for themselves,
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to understand for themselves what is happening instead of interfering
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when the object of the discord is much more important for the other than from oneself
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and when a fierce fight would only harm oneself and the other.
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What are the risks of being too accommodating?
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Your ideas are not getting the attention they deserve.
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You should assert them more.
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You get tricked.
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Your needs are not met,
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and you end up losing the esteem of
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others while trying to make yourself sympathetic.
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you will not be able to assert your authority,
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and you risk a lax and conflict prone organization.
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What are the risks of not being accommodating enough?
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Never admitting responsibilities and wrongs and roused resentment.
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Never making exceptions to the rule,
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to the point of being rigid,
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not wanting to give up certainties and coming
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into conflict with anyone who thinks differently.
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Are you more of a chameleon when facing conflict situations?
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Chameleons are moderately interested in their own interests,
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but also moderately interested in their relationships with others.
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They are looking for a compromise.
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They believe that each party must give up
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something in order to resolve the conflict,
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so everyone loses and wins at the same time.
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They seek an agreement for the good of both,
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even if it means sacrificing part of
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their objectives and their personal relationships.
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It only works if the things being left out
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aren't so essential.
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Otherwise there will be frustratement and resentment.
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When can seeking compromise in conflict be useful
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when two opponents are strongly committed to exclusive objectives
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to Temporarily solve very complex problems
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when time is of the essence or to have an
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alternative solution in the case of failure of negotiations.
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If you compromise too much,
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you may lose sight of the essential questions
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by concentrating on tactics to achieve equality.
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You will eventually fall into bargaining.
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I'll give you this if you give me that,
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counting every detail to make sure you get a fair return.
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The count will never end,
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or you will end up falling into manipulation,
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looking for tips and tricks so that the compromise is in your favor.
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This will generate more resentment in the medium term.
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If you are not compromising enough,
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do you have difficulty making decisions?
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Can you put yourself in the other's shoes and understand their requests?
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Are you more of an ant when faced with conflict situations?
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If you have a strong motivation for cooperation
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and a real determination to pursue your interests,
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you will approach the conflict in a win-win collaboration.
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personal relationships and human relationships are equally valuable.
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They see conflicts as problems that must be resolved,
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and they seek a solution that allows them for themselves
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and for the other person to come out on top.
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Ants approach conflict without stress,
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without judgment,
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openly and fairly.
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They seek to discover without prejudice or power games a solution that
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allows everyone to achieve their essential
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interests while establishing healthy relationships.
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They express their satisfaction when tensions
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and negative feelings are completely dissipated.
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When can seeking collaboration in conflict be useful?
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When the interests of both parties are too important to quickly reach a compromise,
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to find a lasting solution by having fully taken
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into account the different perspectives of a problem,
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to ensure that satisfaction and commitment of both parties in the decision,
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what are the risks of being too much in collaboration?
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A waste of time discussing unimportant topics.
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finding a win-win solution often requires a lot of discussion and time.
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You risk allowing some to take advantage of the situation
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and of you if they are not like you in a desire for cooperation.
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Some will seek to make negotiations last because the status quo suits them well.
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a lot of wasted time.
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Others will adopt the attitude of the competitor who does not want to give up
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under the guise of negotiation.
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The most collaborative person will therefore tend to be fooled by the competitor.
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A piece of advice.
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If you do not know how to resolve a dispute in collaboration,
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learn to see the differences in vision,
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as opportunities.
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Discover the advantages and steps of a
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successful negotiation for the satisfaction of both parties
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in the short and long term.
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Learn to unite those around you around common decisions.
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You will be amazed by the motivation and
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efficiency that this will generate in the team.
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At first glance,
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the collaborative attitude is ideal
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because it allows us to find positive solutions
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and preserve healthy relationships.
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This is what the conflict mediator seeks to create.
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I will therefore recommend this attitude 80% of the time.
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depending on the conflict situation and the people you face,
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you may allow yourself to wisely experiment.
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With the shark competition,
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the chameleon compromise,
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the teddy bear accommodation,
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or the turtle avoidance,
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be clear about the context and the issues.
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See who is the person in front of you and what attitude they are in.
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do not be tricked into always adopting the same attitude by reflex.
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