Attitudes towards conflict :Thomas-Kilmann matrix Tutorial

Unlock the secrets of conflict management with the Thomas-Kilmann Matrix! This video explores five distinct attitudes—Shark, Turtle, Teddy Bear, Chameleon, and Ant—that shape how we handle disputes. Learn about each style's strengths and weaknesses, and discover how to adapt your approach for optimal cooperation and assertiveness. Don't miss the chance to enhance your conflict resolution skills!

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school assesses the behavior of people in conflict situations.

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Thomas and Kilman present 5 attitudes

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of conflict management

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according to two axes.

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In conflicts,

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are you more determined in the pursuit of

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your own interests or more motivated to cooperate?

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Are you more of a shark,

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a turtle,

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an ant,

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a teddy bear,

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or a chameleon?

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We naturally adopt a favorite attitude.

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When faced with conflict,

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each attitude has its advantages and disadvantages.

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You can find easily a questionnaire on the internet or this platform

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to make your self diagnosis of your preferential attitudes towards the conflict.

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Are you more like a turtle when you face conflict situations?

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If you have little determination to pursue your

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interests and have little motivation to cooperate,

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you will tend to avoid.

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The avoid attitude is represented by the turtle.

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Turtles retreat into their shell to avoid conflict.

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They avoid both the subjects of dispute

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and the people with whom they disagree.

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The turtles have no hope of resolving conflicts.

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They feel helpless.

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They believe it is easier to withdraw by denying the existence of a

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conflict and keep the emotions of conflict to themselves rather than face it.

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Seeking to avoid problems and not wanting to make waves,

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they feel helpless to achieve their goals and then

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allow the stakes to escalate.

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When can being in a conflict avoidance attitude help?

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There are 4 reasons for avoiding conflict when the game

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is not worth the effort because it is temporary,

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for example,

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when we know that we cannot change anything.

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To let in information about an underlying subject

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and to release tension

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to allow everyone to calm down before discussing

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if you are too avoidant

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and think it will limit conflicts,

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know that

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people will be afraid to expose problems to you head on.

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You will discourage them from seeking solutions with you.

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Problems are likely to escalate if they are not addressed.

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Decisions on important issues will end up being made for lack of a better way,

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by default

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and sometimes too late.

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If you are not avoiding enough,

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always going straight to the point when a conflict arises,

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know that your remarks may offend others and block the search for a solution.

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You risk inciting hostilities by putting oil on the fire to talk and act too quickly.

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Always wanting to get to the battlefield for the slightest incidents,

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you finally risk overwork due to the ever increasing

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number of problems that you have to deal with.

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Are you more of a shark when faced with conflict situations?

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If you have a strong determination to pursue

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your interests and little motivation to cooperate,

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you will approach conflict by seeking to impose yourself

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to compete.

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Sharks try to dominate their opponents by forcing

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them to accept their solution to the conflict.

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Their own interests are extremely important to them,

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and their relationships with others are less so.

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They seek to achieve their goals at any cost.

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They are uninterested in the needs of other

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people and have little commitment to relationships.

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They don't care that other people don't like them or accept them.

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The sharks consider

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that conflicts are resolved by the victory of one person over the other,

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even if it means using attack,

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domination,

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or intimidation.

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They want to be the winners because winning gives them

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a sense of pride and accomplishment while losing lessens them.

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Their needs are generally met and their rights recognized,

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but often at the expense of others.

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At what point can imposing your views in the conflict be useful

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when rapid and decisive action is imperative,

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it is necessary to decide quickly

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to protect themselves from people who abuse and face competitive people.

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Indeed,

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with these competitive people,

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seeking collaboration is to risk being fooled.

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To drive a painful but mandatory change,

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what are the risks of being too competitive in resolving a dispute?

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People will not dare to share their ignorance or uncertainty with you.

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They end up disguising their attitude.

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They run away from you or they join forces against you.

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What are the risks of not being competitive enough?

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You will feel powerless in the face of certain situations,

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unable to decide.

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You will leave room for doubt and lack of confidence.

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You will have difficulty taking a stand,

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especially when the decision you need to make concerns

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a group of people and not just you.

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Are you more of a teddy bear when faced with conflict situations?

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If you have a strong motivation to cooperate

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and little determination to pursue your own interests,

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you will approach conflict with a tendency to accommodate.

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For teddy bears,

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relationships with other people are very important,

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while their own interests are not.

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Teddy bears want to be accepted and loved.

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It is their primary need that outweighs their other needs.

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They fear that if conflict persists,

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someone will feel hurt

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and that personal relationship and harmony will be compromised.

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They act to calm conflict situations,

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presenting excuses,

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accommodating the proposals of.

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And justifying the behavior of others,

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when can being accommodating in conflict help

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to preserve harmony because it is at this moment what is essential to you,

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to allow others to learn for themselves,

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to understand for themselves what is happening instead of interfering

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when the object of the discord is much more important for the other than from oneself

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and when a fierce fight would only harm oneself and the other.

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What are the risks of being too accommodating?

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Your ideas are not getting the attention they deserve.

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You should assert them more.

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You get tricked.

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Your needs are not met,

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and you end up losing the esteem of

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others while trying to make yourself sympathetic.

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As a manager,

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you will not be able to assert your authority,

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and you risk a lax and conflict prone organization.

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What are the risks of not being accommodating enough?

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Never admitting responsibilities and wrongs and roused resentment.

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Never making exceptions to the rule,

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to the point of being rigid,

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not wanting to give up certainties and coming

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into conflict with anyone who thinks differently.

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Are you more of a chameleon when facing conflict situations?

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Chameleons are moderately interested in their own interests,

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but also moderately interested in their relationships with others.

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They are looking for a compromise.

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They believe that each party must give up

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something in order to resolve the conflict,

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so everyone loses and wins at the same time.

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They seek an agreement for the good of both,

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even if it means sacrificing part of

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their objectives and their personal relationships.

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It only works if the things being left out

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aren't so essential.

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Otherwise there will be frustratement and resentment.

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When can seeking compromise in conflict be useful

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when two opponents are strongly committed to exclusive objectives

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to Temporarily solve very complex problems

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when time is of the essence or to have an

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alternative solution in the case of failure of negotiations.

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If you compromise too much,

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you may lose sight of the essential questions

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by concentrating on tactics to achieve equality.

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You will eventually fall into bargaining.

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I'll give you this if you give me that,

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counting every detail to make sure you get a fair return.

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The count will never end,

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or you will end up falling into manipulation,

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looking for tips and tricks so that the compromise is in your favor.

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This will generate more resentment in the medium term.

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If you are not compromising enough,

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do you have difficulty making decisions?

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Can you put yourself in the other's shoes and understand their requests?

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Are you more of an ant when faced with conflict situations?

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If you have a strong motivation for cooperation

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and a real determination to pursue your interests,

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you will approach the conflict in a win-win collaboration.

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For ants,

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personal relationships and human relationships are equally valuable.

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They see conflicts as problems that must be resolved,

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and they seek a solution that allows them for themselves

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and for the other person to come out on top.

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Ants approach conflict without stress,

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without judgment,

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openly and fairly.

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They seek to discover without prejudice or power games a solution that

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allows everyone to achieve their essential

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interests while establishing healthy relationships.

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They express their satisfaction when tensions

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and negative feelings are completely dissipated.

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When can seeking collaboration in conflict be useful?

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When the interests of both parties are too important to quickly reach a compromise,

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to find a lasting solution by having fully taken

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into account the different perspectives of a problem,

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to ensure that satisfaction and commitment of both parties in the decision,

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what are the risks of being too much in collaboration?

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A waste of time discussing unimportant topics.

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Indeed,

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finding a win-win solution often requires a lot of discussion and time.

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You risk allowing some to take advantage of the situation

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and of you if they are not like you in a desire for cooperation.

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Some will seek to make negotiations last because the status quo suits them well.

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In short,

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a lot of wasted time.

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Others will adopt the attitude of the competitor who does not want to give up

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under the guise of negotiation.

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The most collaborative person will therefore tend to be fooled by the competitor.

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A piece of advice.

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If you do not know how to resolve a dispute in collaboration,

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learn to see the differences in vision,

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interest,

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as opportunities.

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Discover the advantages and steps of a

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successful negotiation for the satisfaction of both parties

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in the short and long term.

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Learn to unite those around you around common decisions.

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You will be amazed by the motivation and

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efficiency that this will generate in the team.

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At first glance,

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the collaborative attitude is ideal

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because it allows us to find positive solutions

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and preserve healthy relationships.

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This is what the conflict mediator seeks to create.

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I will therefore recommend this attitude 80% of the time.

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However,

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depending on the conflict situation and the people you face,

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you may allow yourself to wisely experiment.

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With the shark competition,

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the chameleon compromise,

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the teddy bear accommodation,

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or the turtle avoidance,

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be clear about the context and the issues.

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See who is the person in front of you and what attitude they are in.

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Above all,

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do not be tricked into always adopting the same attitude by reflex.

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You have 5 strings to your bow.

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