Giving feedback to your boss Tutorial

Are you struggling to give feedback to your boss? In "Giving Feedback to Your Boss," discover how to navigate this challenging conversation with assertiveness and courage. Learn effective strategies to enhance upward communication, improve your work relationship, and foster mutual respect in the workplace. Elevate your career by mastering the art of feedback—watch now!

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You cannot imagine the number of coachees that I've worked with for whom the

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relationship with their manager was an essential source of their stress at work.

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Few,

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however,

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calmly propose concrete changes to their boss in the way they work together.

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Few of them know how to give feedback to their boss.

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In this video,

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I will help you one dare to talk to your boss.

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2,

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have the right posture,

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and 3,

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structure your speech.

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Why do so few employees not give feedback to their boss?

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Because they don't dare

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to hide this fear.

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They brandish many false reasons to remain silent.

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It's not for me to tell my boss.

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It will be useless.

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I will have already tried to make my manager understand.

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The other managers are no better.

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They suffer from that relationship to their managers.

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It doesn't suit them,

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but they don't say anything.

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The real reason why?

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Because unconsciously we put ourselves in a low position in front of our manager.

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We unconsciously reproduce the child-parent relationship,

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sometimes submissive child,

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sometimes rebellious child.

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Do you tell your daddy that he's not a good educator?

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Daring to give feedback to your boss is a

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bit like moving from the child-parent relationship to an adult

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adult.

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Two adults

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who talk calmly to each other when there is a problem.

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Upward communication benefits everyone.

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It benefits the employee who has been able to express themselves.

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It benefits the manager who will be able to evolve and

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develop a more flexible management according to the people and situations.

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It benefits the business which stands to

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gain when collaboration is smoother and smarter.

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Sometimes we get into crisis situations simply because

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the employees have not made their demands clear.

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To dare to give feedback to your boss is

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to dare to ask them more respect or more autonomy

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to tell them that the organization of meetings needs to be improved.

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To dare to give feedback to your boss is to share a

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dissenting opinion or answer them a justified no to their request.

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It means making clear proposals and requests to them.

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As an adult,

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it is our responsibility to speak up and ask,

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even if we believe that there is a 99%

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chance that our manager will oppose our statement.

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This is no reason to be silent.

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On the contrary,

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we have a duty to speak up for ourselves and for the team.

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Our anxious mind may tell us don't go,

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they won't listen to you.

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It won't do any good.

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It will be worse.

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Stop.

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Your anxious mind is not the decision maker.

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You are the decision maker.

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We have the power and even the duty to speak up and above all,

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if it's really important,

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we must return to the charge

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to repeat our feedback and demand.

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And if we have not been heard despite 3 attempts

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and the psychosocial risks are involved,

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we even have a duty to give feedback to the manager of our manager

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or to HR department.

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Daring is the first step.

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Daring without arrogance or without feeling in your little shoes.

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Every opinion deserves to be heard.

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Every request deserves to be expressed for the good of all.

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Now that we have lifted the self-censorship that

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prevented us from speaking to our manager,

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we must be given the best chance to be heard.

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What is the right posture,

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the right attitude to adopt?

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First,

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a period of introspection is necessary.

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It's rarely black or white.

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If something creates stress in the relationship with the manager,

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there is certainly an element of co-responsibility.

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How have I contributed to the attitude,

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actions,

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and decisions of my manager that I condemn today?

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Did I contribute by my silence,

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by my obedience,

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because I was intimidated for fear of the consequences.

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Did my attitude contribute to this stressful situation?

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Recognizing your part of responsibility as an adult will help you join the

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meeting as an adult and not as a rebellious or submissive child.

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Second question to ask yourself before your feedback interview.

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What are the reasons

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that prompted my boss to make this decision to adopt such an attitude?

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The more you understand their personal reasons,

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the more you will come up with an attitude of openness.

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Careful,

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just because you understand them doesn't mean you don't need to give them feedback.

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Quite the contrary,

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your opinion and your request deserve to be heard,

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even if your boss will not be able to respond or refuse to respond,

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at least in the short term.

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If you really don't see your boss's reasons to act,

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don't hesitate to ask him or her.

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What are the reasons,

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Stephen,

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that prompted you to make this decision to adopt such an attitude?

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Let Stephen try to protect his ego.

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At first he may go defensive and justify himself awkwardly or aggressively.

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Just tell Stephen that you are not accusing him,

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that you just want to understand.

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Because yes,

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giving feedback is not accusing the other person,

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it is above all making a request.

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During the meeting,

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be especially focused on the future,

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on your desire.

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Do you know the best time to speak to your superior?

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Morning,

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afternoon,

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Monday,

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Friday.

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It is the moment when they will be most available physically and mentally.

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Perhaps your first step is to ask them for a meeting time

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to avoid having to squeeze feedback in a hallway between two meetings

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or to avoid postponing this challenging meeting.

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Stephen,

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I would like to schedule a meeting together.

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Can we meet on Monday in your office?

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Does 9 a.m. sound good?

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And if Stephen is reluctant or wants to know more about it already,

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you can just say it is important,

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it's about our collaboration

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or about our work organization,

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or to tell you about the difficulties I am having,

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or

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you will find your words.

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But if the subject is important and requires

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sitting undisturbed for at least 15 minutes,

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do not speak in the open space or in front of the coffee machine.

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Insist on programming a real meeting.

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We have seen what posture and attitude to

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adopt during the feedback meeting with your superior.

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I will now suggest a structure of speech.

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Get your boss's approval first on the subject of feedback.

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Stephen,

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I want to give you feedback on yesterday's meeting.

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Is that OK with you?

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Stephen,

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I want to give you feedback on our manager managed collaboration.

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Is that OK with you?

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The approach should be positive and respectful.

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If it is not the right time or the right place,

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make an appointment.

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Insist that this will not be postponed to later.

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It's important to me.

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I want to talk about it as quickly as possible.

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You can also choose,

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if the subject is not too stressful,

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to approach your feedback at the end of a weekly meeting with your boss,

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always 1 to 1,

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of course.

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After having reviewed the topics on the agenda,

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you end with,

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I want to give you feedback on yesterday's meeting.

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Is that OK with you?

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After having had his agreement,

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start from the facts regarding the meeting,

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your 45 minute delay had important consequences for me.

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I had to cancel a client appointment.

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Or

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in meetings,

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you often ask us what do you think,

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but you don't give us time to express

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ourselves or you cut short any dissenting opinion.

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Or

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Stephen,

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you want to be very present on the Delta file by asking

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me for daily reporting and controlling all my procedures to such an extent

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that I feel that I am not responsible for it.

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Or

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you gave me a new challenging file and I can't get

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the answers from you to the questions that concern it.

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Step 3,

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listen.

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Listen to his reasons.

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Listen to his advice.

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Listen to his perhaps awkward justifications.

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If you don't have the exact same perception on the past,

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don't spend time seeking agreement about it.

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The main thing is to move the meeting

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forward towards the propositions for the future.

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Do not forget your needs and your goals in the flow of Stephen's words.

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Don't get intimidated.

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Don't minimize your need.

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I have seen a lot of feedback die in the bud at this point.

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Stephen,

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the boss has spoken.

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He justified himself,

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and nothing happened.

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No decision has been made.

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Nothing has changed.

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In short,

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we must not forget step 4,

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negotiation.

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What are we doing?

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What are we changing?

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Ideally,

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everyone will leave the meeting with a change to put in place.

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For example,

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I'll make an effort on the meeting times.

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Beyond a quarter of an hour's delay,

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we'll postpone the meeting.

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OK,

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Stephen,

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if you don't give me time to speak up in a meeting,

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I'll firmly say,

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Please,

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Stephen,

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I haven't finished yet what I had to say.

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OK,

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I'll give you more autonomy on the delta folder,

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but I will need 1 reporting per week on this file.

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OK,

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I'll let you see with my assistant to plan meetings with me on the Z file.

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Come up with concrete propositions for the feedback meeting.

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Think of at least 3 possible options.

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In the negotiation,

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you can also offer your help to your manager.

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For the next meetings,

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I can prepare and facilitate an item on the agenda

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and be the timekeeper.

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Do you agree with that,

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Stephen?

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Do you want to give feedback to your boss?

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Here is a reminder of the steps.

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Choose the right time of the meeting.

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Start positively.

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Is it OK for you that I give you feedback?

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Describe the facts.

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Listen without going into the verbal ping pong on who is right and who is wrong.

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Negotiate a new way of working and offer help.

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Giving regular feedback to your boss is

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essential for a manager managed relationship.

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This shouldn't be an exception.

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It shouldn't just be done when there are difficulties.

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Each meeting with our manager is an opportunity to express our point of view,

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to make requests,

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to take stock of manager-managed cooperation.

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Everyone will win.

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And don't forget to give your boss positive feedback too.

Mandarine AI: WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW