Practicing active listening Tutorial

Unlock the power of communication with "Practicing Active Listening." Dive into the essentials of being present, curious, and open in your conversations. Discover tools like synchronization, questioning, and rephrasing to enhance collaboration and resolve conflicts. Transform your listening skills and become an expert communicator!

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to improve our communication and to get out of conflicts?

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Above all,

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what is the basis of active listening?

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Availability,

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curiosity and openness.

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Here are the three key principles to which you can link

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three tools synchronization,

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questioning,

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and reformulation.

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We will study these qualities and tools

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that will make you an excellent communicator.

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Do you want to be an expert in active listening?

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Active listening means being truly available to the other person.

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Active listening is centered on the other person,

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understanding the other person and welcoming their opinions,

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their thoughts,

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and their emotions.

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To do so,

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you must be available.

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You cannot practice active listening if you are stressed,

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stressed by a file,

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or by lack of time.

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Active listening requires mindfulness,

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being fully in the present moment with

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your conversational partner without other screens,

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computer or current file in mind,

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monopolizing your attention.

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This is probably the most difficult part

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to be fully there right now with the other.

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Your mind is like a blank page,

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and your senses are open to fully capture what's being expressed.

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Listening actively means to feel,

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hear,

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and see the other after having cleared your mind being available.

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If you are in emotional and mental turmoil,

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you cannot be available to the other.

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Breathe.

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When you are facing the other,

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listen,

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observe,

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and speak by placing yourself in the eye of the hurricane,

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that place where everything is calm,

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even in the storm

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and not in the ring.

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In the heart of the hurricane,

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everything is calm and quiet without emotion,

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without the pressure of time.

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You are there,

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present and available.

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One tool will help you to fully center yourself on the other,

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even through your senses.

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It is synchronization.

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Detect the way your interlocutor expresses themselves

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verbally and nonverbally and communicate with them

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by expressing yourself in the same way.

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Adopt a similar posture without mimicking,

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of course,

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if they are sitting comfortably at the back of the chair,

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don't sit stiffly at the front of the chair.

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Put your gestures on the same register.

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Don't stay still if they are very expressive.

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Adjust to.

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Flow and the volume of their voice.

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Don't speak too fast and energetically if their voice is calm and composed.

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So synchronize yourself to the energy of the other person

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in order to better listen to them,

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to resonate with their energy of the moment.

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Studies prove

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that synchronization promotes trust.

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Your conversation partner will feel comfortable and understood.

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They will feel that you are on the same page,

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and they will express themselves with more confidence,

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while you,

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you will be able to understand and feel what they

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are saying through your empathy by staying centered on them,

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you will avoid going into internal dialogue.

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Do you want to be a better active listener?

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Develop your curiosity

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in any communication we are tempted to take short

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cuts on what the other person is saying.

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We think we understand them,

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but above all,

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we want to express ourselves in return

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rather than listening longer to the other

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person rather than really being interested in them

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because of a lack of curiosity,

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we miss the other.

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We filter what they tell us.

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We don't try to dig deeper into what they say.

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As a manager or an expert,

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we tend to interrupt the other person when they tell us about a difficulty.

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We believe we already have the solution.

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We think it is our role to quickly suggest solutions

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instead of listening to the other person or

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asking questions until they find their own solution.

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This is why we often suggest very few options to solve problems and conflicts.

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Indeed,

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we have very little information at our disposal about the situation,

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about the other's vision,

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or about their needs,

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and sometimes we don't even have clear information about our own desires.

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Therefore,

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active listening is above all knowing how to ask questions.

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So be curious

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about what is at stake in a communication and what is behind the conflict.

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Seek to understand the other person's world.

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Ask questions without judgment,

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questions such as

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how did you experience the facts?

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What did you see or hear?

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What did you deduce?

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How do you see things?

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How do you feel?

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And why do you feel this way?

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If there is a conflict,

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you can ask,

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have you experienced this in the past and how did you solve it?

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How would you have wanted it to happen?

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What do you need?

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What would make you feel good?

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What solutions do you suggest?

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Ask questions to allow your communication to be open

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and lively and to be enriched by the other.

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We can define 4 types of questions according to 2 axes.

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Axis 1 is open and closed questions.

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Axis 2 is neutral and guided questions.

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A neutral,

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open-ended question allows an answer in all directions.

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What do you think of this decision?

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How did you experience the argument?

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A neutral closed question

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opens to two possible answers.

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Yes,

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no.

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Are you satisfied with this decision?

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Yes,

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no.

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An open-ended guided question

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leads the field of answers.

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What is right for you in this decision

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or what doesn't suit you in this decision?

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What are your options?

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A closed-ended guided question

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pushes the conversation partner towards the direction you want.

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Wasn't I right to make this decision?

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You appreciate me,

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don't you?

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A neutral open-ended question

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is designed to gather information.

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What do you think of the new project?

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A neutral,

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closed question is used to validate information.

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Is it?

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Does it?

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Does this decision seem wise to you?

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And with this type of neutral closed question,

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if your interlocutor is not talkative,

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the discussion will quickly be cut short.

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Does it?

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Yes,

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no.

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The open-ended guided question

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allows you to guide and stimulate reflection.

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Who,

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when,

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where,

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why,

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how,

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how much.

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How do you intend to achieve the objective?

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What is the advantage of hiring a consultant?

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What is the risk of not addressing our dispute?

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Why did you treat the case this way?

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The closed-ended guided question is to be avoided.

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It is a bit of a manipulation.

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Don't you think that?

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Don't you think you should have asked for my opinion?

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Here we are clearly being judgmental.

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The golden question of active listening in a professional result

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oriented setting will be the open ended guided question,

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especially the one starting with how in your opinion?

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How do you think,

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how do you think we can find common ground?

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How do you think we can improve client satisfaction?

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Careful,

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it is a common misconception to believe that the

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questions we are asked must be answered immediately.

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Ask for a cool off period when necessary.

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You are looking to develop qualitative active listening.

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Develop your openness.

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This goes even further than being available and curious.

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Being open means welcoming the other person with their vision of the world,

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with the energy they bring,

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without filters or judgments.

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They have the right to be irritated

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if they remain respectful,

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to be worried or to be disappointed.

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They have the right to think differently from us,

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and it's perfect that way.

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As Emerson,

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an American philosopher of the 19th century,

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used to say,

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how happy I am to meet someone who has a different opinion from mine,

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for it is the only way

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I can learn something new.

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Active listening requires a state of neutrality

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and even more benevolence towards the other.

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It requires putting all our prejudices about the other on hold

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so as to not fall back into our good old human reflexes,

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debating,

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contradicting,

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wanting to convince the other

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without trying to understand them beforehand.

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It is easy to listen to someone you agree with and appreciate.

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But how can you actively listen to someone who is different

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in their way of expressing themselves and their points of view?

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How to avoid being judgmental?

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Being open means forgetting your point of view for a while

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in order to welcome and understand the other's point of view.

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Even if the person you are dealing with is judgmental,

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you can remain open and constructive.

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It is more difficult,

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I grant you that,

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but it is possible.

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Remain adult and constructive even if the other person

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behaves like a lecturer or a grumpy child.

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One tool that will help you to do this wonderfully is rephrasing.

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As you are listening to the other person,

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interrupt them sometimes,

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not to make your point,

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which you can do later,

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but to pick up on the other person's main ideas

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and feelings at regular intervals in a neutral way.

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What you're telling me is,

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you wonder how

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you're worried about the delay.

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You felt hurt because

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In your opinion,

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the project can't work because

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the objective is to get a yes from the other person.

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Yes,

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that's right.

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Yes,

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you understood me.

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Rephrasing will be essential,

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even indispensable in any difficult communication.

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When you announce a decision that you know won't be liked,

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remember to reformulate the reactions and comments from your audience

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so that they feel heard and understood.

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Even if your decision is non-negotiable,

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when a colleague comes to you with a problem,

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rephrase what they are saying before responding.

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Active listening is one of the

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fundamental tools for establishing trust-based communication.

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It is indispensable when tension is palpable.

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Remember

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to actively listen,

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make yourself available,

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curious and open.

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To do this,

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use synchronization,

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questioning,

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and rephrasing.

Mandarine AI: WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW