The 3 brains, stress and conflict Tutorial

Feeling overwhelmed by stress or conflict? Discover how understanding your 'three brains' – the reptilian, limbic, and neocortex – can empower you to reclaim control in challenging situations. This enlightening video, 'the 3 brains, stress and conflict', will guide you through managing stress, improving emotional responses, and enhancing your personal and professional effectiveness. Tune in to transform your reactions!

14:53
3 views

Selected for you
New

Available in SoftSkills

00:00:06

and have less and less control over your thoughts,

00:00:09

emotions,

00:00:10

and reactions?

00:00:12

How can you take back control over your life and

00:00:14

rationally manage the stress that burns or inhibits you?

00:00:19

You will better understand what is happening within

00:00:21

you by familiarizing yourself with your three brains

00:00:25

the reptilian brain,

00:00:27

the limbic brain,

00:00:28

and the neocortex.

00:00:30

So which brain has taken over your life in the middle of your struggles?

00:00:35

Paul MacLean is a 20th century neuroscientist.

00:00:38

He modeled the brain in 3 layers which overlapped with evolution.

00:00:44

Reptilian brain,

00:00:45

limbic brain,

00:00:47

neocortex brain.

00:00:49

I'm going through a somewhat metaphorical history to tell you about

00:00:52

the stress and conflict reactions according to these three brains.

00:00:57

The Cro Magnum man 50,000 years ago

00:01:01

had almost the same DNA,

00:01:03

the same biochemistry as us.

00:01:06

Only the sources of stress have changed.

00:01:09

At that time,

00:01:10

the danger came more from the mammoth and the saber-toothed tiger.

00:01:14

People who think under intense stress are dead.

00:01:18

Hey,

00:01:18

a tiger is rushing at me.

00:01:20

What am I going to do?

00:01:21

Let's think

00:01:22

boom.

00:01:23

The genetic heritage of reflection

00:01:26

during intense stress

00:01:28

because of the imminent danger

00:01:30

has not been transmitted.

00:01:32

Which brain takes over in the event of intense stress?

00:01:36

It is the reptilian brain that takes control under intense stress.

00:01:41

It is the first filter.

00:01:43

It can bypass the other two brains to deal with

00:01:47

what it considers to be a case of survival,

00:01:51

a matter of life and death.

00:01:54

It is convinced that you risk dying without it.

00:01:58

This is the most archaic part of the brain

00:02:02

which we have in common with reptiles.

00:02:04

It is the first brain developed in the embryo.

00:02:08

It takes care of our physical survival.

00:02:11

Danger,

00:02:11

no danger.

00:02:12

Eat,

00:02:13

be eaten.

00:02:14

Our reptilian brains are similar to those of reptiles like the crocodile,

00:02:20

a cold blooded animal.

00:02:22

In case of danger,

00:02:23

the reptile comes to a stop.

00:02:26

We no longer see it.

00:02:28

Sometimes it even changes color,

00:02:30

blends in with the wall.

00:02:32

If the reptile does not move,

00:02:34

it is not seen,

00:02:35

and this is how it protects itself from attacks and keeps itself alive.

00:02:41

The muscles immobilized in the face of danger are hypercontracted

00:02:46

to be ready.

00:02:48

The reptile comes to a stop and disappears when in danger.

00:02:53

It will only attack when it needs to eat,

00:02:56

when unmasked,

00:02:57

or when it feels stronger than the threat,

00:03:00

and suddenly it leaps.

00:03:02

As humans we are sometimes paralyzed in the face of

00:03:06

latent or impending conflict to the point that we are unable

00:03:10

to express ourselves,

00:03:12

to ask for help,

00:03:13

to the point where we act as if nothing happened

00:03:16

just to avoid confrontation and dialogue with the other person.

00:03:20

We lack the energy to break the deadlock.

00:03:23

We try to survive without moving,

00:03:25

without getting noticed.

00:03:27

To say it simply,

00:03:29

we could say that our reptilian brain believes that the danger is so high

00:03:33

that it has programmed us to stand still

00:03:36

to avoid conflict.

00:03:38

We don't control the person who represents the conflict to resolve it.

00:03:42

We do not seek dialogue.

00:03:44

We remain motionless as though paralyzed despite the difficulties.

00:03:49

Our reptilian brain has taken control and is

00:03:52

maintaining that the best reaction is doing nothing.

00:03:57

A 2016 poll showed that 52% of people prefer

00:04:02

to avoid conflict by doing nothing about it.

00:04:05

These people may rationally explain to you that they are right not to intervene,

00:04:10

even giving false justifications with a well structured speech

00:04:14

that seems credible.

00:04:15

Chances are,

00:04:16

in fact,

00:04:18

their reptilian brain has taken over and immobilized them

00:04:22

in a context of survival with tigers and mammoths.

00:04:26

This was indeed a useful tactic.

00:04:29

In a professional context,

00:04:31

our physical survival is not in danger.

00:04:34

We don't risk dying if we move.

00:04:36

At most we risk finding a better solution,

00:04:39

and yet often we react as if our survival is at stake.

00:04:44

In fact,

00:04:45

some people are so afraid of dismissal

00:04:48

or retaliation

00:04:49

that they let their reptilian brain lead them

00:04:52

and justify their lack of reaction

00:04:55

while accepting to be demeaned and manipulated.

00:04:59

And then one day unexpectedly,

00:05:02

the crocodile leaps up and kills its prey.

00:05:05

Just like people ruled by their reptilian brains become suddenly very harsh

00:05:10

and even violent in conflicts

00:05:13

because they feel that their survival is no longer assured by standing still.

00:05:18

A second way of dealing with conflict when

00:05:20

the reptilian is in control is indeed destruction.

00:05:24

Kill what represents danger now.

00:05:28

Put it to death.

00:05:29

This is sometimes the case when words turn violent and judgments become final.

00:05:35

When words go beyond thought and the

00:05:37

relationship is killed with an intransigent judgment.

00:05:41

Either way,

00:05:42

you're incompetent and I can't trust you.

00:05:45

Period.

00:05:45

The bomb has gone off,

00:05:47

the relationship is destroyed.

00:05:49

The reptilian brain in full alarm has taken control.

00:05:53

It found it safer to go to this extreme rather

00:05:57

than saying respectful words which the neocortex would have done.

00:06:01

It was either me or them.

00:06:03

The reptilian brain has decided.

00:06:06

Destroy so as not to be destroyed.

00:06:09

A reptile can eat its young for its own survival.

00:06:13

A third reptilian way of responding to stress is hyperactivity.

00:06:18

Like a wriggling worm or a little reptile that had its tail cut

00:06:21

off by the eagle's beak and is now moving all over the place,

00:06:26

it is a messy survival reaction like a person walking on hot sand.

00:06:31

You know,

00:06:32

when you're restless and can't stay still,

00:06:35

people who are governed by their reptilian brain

00:06:37

in stressful situations will become active in all directions

00:06:42

to find a solution or will dive headfirst.

00:06:46

They will feel protected from danger through

00:06:48

this constant and even disorderly movement,

00:06:51

unaware of their nervousness and inability to sit

00:06:54

down to find a healthy resolution strategy.

00:06:58

This is the case,

00:06:59

for example,

00:07:00

for people who send

00:07:01

5 long and sometimes contradictory emails in a single day

00:07:06

to the other party with whom they are in conflict.

00:07:10

So to recap,

00:07:12

if we give our reptilian brain the power in the conflict,

00:07:15

it will trigger three types of reactions paralysis,

00:07:19

destruction,

00:07:21

or restlessness.

00:07:23

This exhausts our body and prevents us from discerning and exchanging like adults.

00:07:28

The neocortex cannot do its job properly when

00:07:31

the reptilian brain has taken all the power.

00:07:35

We must first reduce the fear from where it occurs in the reptilian level

00:07:39

at the physical level.

00:07:41

There is no point in trying to reason with yourself.

00:07:45

How to calm the reptilian,

00:07:48

relax the body from constant tension so that it

00:07:51

stops sending SOS messages to the reptilian brain.

00:07:55

I'm scared.

00:07:56

There is a big problem.

00:07:57

I'm in danger.

00:07:58

Take the wheel.

00:08:00

Breathe,

00:08:01

breathe,

00:08:02

breathe.

00:08:03

Return to the body sensations that will remind us that all is well,

00:08:09

that we are safe,

00:08:10

that there are no predators,

00:08:12

that we are not alone against all

00:08:14

walking,

00:08:15

stretching,

00:08:16

running,

00:08:17

protecting your sleeping time.

00:08:19

The reptilian is active during sleep.

00:08:22

Focusing on improving your sleep allows it to relax at night.

00:08:26

Use relaxation techniques.

00:08:28

Sophrology can also help yoga,

00:08:31

acupuncture,

00:08:32

massage,

00:08:33

anything that can get the reptilian out of physical alert.

00:08:38

Take a deep breath in the midst of stress or conflict.

00:08:42

How does our limbic brain react in case of stress?

00:08:46

The reptilian brain passes the wheel to the limbic

00:08:49

brain when the stress does not endanger our life,

00:08:52

especially when it comes to the stress

00:08:54

related to our relationships with other humans.

00:08:57

We have a limbic brain in common with mammals,

00:09:00

mammals that form pairs and or live in groups.

00:09:04

The limbic is the home of emotions,

00:09:06

feelings,

00:09:07

affective memories.

00:09:09

It instantly evaluates if things are good or

00:09:12

bad according to its database of past memories.

00:09:15

It creates the emotions.

00:09:17

It can make us yell at each other because when we were 7 years old,

00:09:21

it worked.

00:09:22

It can make us run away because it believes that we will suffer less.

00:09:27

It can make us cry

00:09:29

because that will attract comforters.

00:09:32

It acts on emotional reflex in the short term.

00:09:36

In its attempt to make us feel good,

00:09:38

the limbic wants our relationship with others to be as good as possible.

00:09:43

Other people have to like me.

00:09:45

Other people should not reject me.

00:09:48

Not taking risks,

00:09:49

absolutely not.

00:09:51

Avoid any discomfort,

00:09:53

it's the motto.

00:09:55

For the limbic,

00:09:56

don't make a delicate request.

00:09:58

Don't say no.

00:09:59

Don't express your dissatisfaction.

00:10:02

Those attitudes must be avoided.

00:10:05

It can damage the relationship and generate negative emotions.

00:10:10

When the good life with one another barometer is dropping,

00:10:14

it will try twice as hard to improve the shared life.

00:10:18

The last resort of the limbic when

00:10:20

the situation or the relationship becomes uncomfortable

00:10:24

or is threatening its babies is either fight or flight like a good mammal.

00:10:30

If the limbic brain believes that the person causing the pain is less strong,

00:10:34

it will attack

00:10:35

through gestures and or words.

00:10:38

The blood will rush into the arms and face

00:10:42

to attack or bite the other person.

00:10:45

Humans nowadays tend to bite more with words than literally.

00:10:50

However,

00:10:51

blood continues to rush to the jaw,

00:10:54

and the person may be flushed with anger.

00:10:57

Judgment,

00:10:58

accusations,

00:10:59

insults,

00:11:00

threats,

00:11:01

emotional blackmail,

00:11:03

tears,

00:11:03

floods of emotional words.

00:11:06

If the limbic brain feels that the other person

00:11:09

or the event causing the discomfort is stronger.

00:11:12

The blood will go to the legs instead.

00:11:15

The tension will be lodged in the lower limbs to facilitate the escape.

00:11:20

Sometimes the blood will desert the face,

00:11:22

making us pale with fear to supply the legs with energy.

00:11:27

We run away

00:11:28

from the other one,

00:11:30

the others,

00:11:30

and the situation.

00:11:32

How can you get out of this exclusive power takeover of the limbic?

00:11:37

First,

00:11:37

do not blame yourself for leaving the controls to the limbic.

00:11:42

Second,

00:11:43

be lucid

00:11:44

about all the attitudes of appreciation seeking of fight and flight

00:11:50

that we repeat in our relationships with others.

00:11:54

Nurture healthy self-esteem so that you don't need to be loved.

00:11:59

Dare to take risks which the limbic hates.

00:12:02

Take care of yourself,

00:12:04

your energy,

00:12:04

take care of yourself unconditionally.

00:12:08

Now that the limbic calmed down and not before,

00:12:11

we will be able to access the neocortex.

00:12:15

How does our neocortex brain react in the event of stress?

00:12:19

The neocortex,

00:12:21

according to Paul MacLean,

00:12:22

is the brain of thought of responsible choice of reflection.

00:12:27

It's the intellectual of the gang compared to

00:12:30

the reptilian brain and the limbic brain.

00:12:32

The neocortex is made up of what we call the right brain and the left brain.

00:12:38

The neocortex makes us responsible,

00:12:41

reasonable adults who will be able to step back from

00:12:44

the past and analyze and consider solutions for the future.

00:12:48

It is capable of saying,

00:12:50

let's stop and talk.

00:12:52

It can choose to be calm in the face of a different opinion.

00:12:55

It is capable of relativizing the anxieties of the reptilian and the limbic.

00:13:01

It can take risks after measuring them.

00:13:04

The neocortex determines our humanity because it allows us to make choices freely.

00:13:10

There

00:13:11

things are not that simple because these three brains are

00:13:15

not as simplistic and as distinctive as I describe them.

00:13:18

In fact,

00:13:19

the neocortex is constantly manipulated by the jolts

00:13:23

of the limbic and the reptilian brains,

00:13:26

like a balloon

00:13:28

placed on the agitated waters of our ancestral brains.

00:13:32

And neocortex torn by our fears and our effect

00:13:36

is sucked into accusations limiting beliefs and guilt.

00:13:40

It believes that it's reasonable,

00:13:42

but it's nothing but the puppet of the reptilian

00:13:46

and the limbic.

00:13:47

So

00:13:48

our three brains are permanently interconnected,

00:13:53

and the reptilian and the limbic continue to take power without our knowledge,

00:13:58

especially in case of stress.

00:14:01

Don't beat yourself up about it.

00:14:03

In times of stress and conflict,

00:14:06

breathe and take care of yourself.

00:14:08

This is the first step.

00:14:11

Society is moving towards healthier relationships by valuing openness,

00:14:17

emotional intelligence,

00:14:19

mediation,

00:14:20

nonviolent communication,

00:14:22

collaboration,

00:14:23

etc.

00:14:24

The neocortex absorbs all this beautiful evolution of consciousness.

00:14:29

Little by little we develop a consciousness

00:14:32

capable of managing stress and disagreements,

00:14:36

freed from the fears and automatisms of the reptilian and limbic,

00:14:41

and freed from the certainties of the neocortex,

00:14:45

an awakened consciousness

00:14:47

beyond the games and limitations of our three brains,

00:14:51

consciousness.

Mandarine AI: WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW