Why am I overwhelmed? Tutorial

Feeling overwhelmed? Discover how your perception of time and tasks might be holding you back. In "Why Am I Overwhelmed?", we delve into common drivers like the need to please others and the quest for perfection. Learn transformative strategies to prioritize effectively, delegate wisely, and reshape your approach to time management. Unlock your potential and transform your productivity today with insights aimed at enhancing both personal and professional effectiveness!

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Once again,

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it all stems from our perception of the world,

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the perception of the world that we've inherited from our DNA

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and education.

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Yes,

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relationships to time are contagious,

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and the one that we maintain in a logical and linear relationship with time.

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But this conditioning to be overwhelmed with tasks is totally reversible.

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Soon you will be able to stop feeling

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guilty or proud for being an overwhelmed person.

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Let's start with the compelling messages from the past

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that condition our time management.

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Doctor Tybe Kalla identified 5 compelling messages,

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5 drivers in transactional analysis.

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Please others

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try hard,

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be strong,

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hurry up and be perfect.

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One,

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if you're big on pleasing others,

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you'll certainly have trouble saying no to everybody's solicitations.

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You risk

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bending over backwards for the sake of others and filling

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your time with menial favors or attention towards others.

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You risk losing sight of your own goals,

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making detours so that your actions don't bother or harm anyone.

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Am I bothering you?

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Are you sure you're OK?

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You're afraid of hurting,

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of disappointing.

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Here's my suggestion,

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replace pleasing others with putting myself first.

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If you're big on trying hard,

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you must think that you need to sweat,

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even suffer to get somewhere.

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You'll tend to choose difficult tasks,

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make them even more complicated than they initially were.

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You'll spend time doing some actions which

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will prove your perseverance and skills,

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but are absolutely unnecessary.

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You want to show that you don't spare yourself from struggle,

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so you don't always take the shortest,

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easiest or happiest path to reach a goal.

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Here's my suggestion,

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replace the try harder with how to do it the easy way.

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If you're big on be strong,

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you tend to say yes to prove your worth.

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You like to show that you can do it all on

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your own without complaining and especially not showing your weakness.

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You rely very rarely on the group.

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You believe that you don't.

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Need help or delegation,

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you can overload yourself with work without showing a single sign

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up until your emotions or your body

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sounds the alarm.

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Here's my suggestion,

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replace be strong with let's play collectively.

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If you're big on be perfect,

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you tend to spend a lot of time polishing your work until it's perfect.

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When you do this,

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you delay the completion of any project,

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even if nobody other than you can see the difference.

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And if this perfection has no real added value on the projects,

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this irresistible need to be in control will make you waste time.

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Too much attention to tidiness,

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too much attention to detail,

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and sometimes difficulty making decisions because

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how can you be sure

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it's the right one.

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Here's my suggestion,

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replace be perfect with

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be pragmatic.

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If you're big on hurry up.

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You'd like,

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maybe without admitting it to yourself,

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acting under pressure,

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acting fast,

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sometimes hastily.

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Feeling like you're doing lots of things with efficiency,

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efficiency,

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not so sure.

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You think responsiveness is a guarantee of performing,

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but sometimes it makes you take bad decisions or turn in a poorly finished job.

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The hurry up kind of people are usually hyperactive.

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They may sometimes switch from one task to another without taking the time

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to get deep enough to add their full value to the project.

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They go as far as giving themselves last minute tasks to

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make sure they run all the way to the end.

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Here's my suggestion,

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replace hurry up with

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settle down and breathe.

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These 5 compelling messages,

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also called the 5 drivers,

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are tackled from another angle in the delegating or taking up

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Monkeys video.

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Indeed,

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it's very hard to delegate when we're driven by one of them.

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I would now like to ask the question,

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why am I overwhelmed from another angle?

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Why am I overwhelmed?

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Because what I want to do needs more time

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than I can afford.

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So I am under the impression that I lack time when I see the mountain I have to climb.

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I then have the choice between two paths.

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Either I change my to do list,

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sorting through it and prioritizing,

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and or I delegate and negotiate with other people.

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At this point,

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an important question will help you sort through things.

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Do I want to put myself,

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the children to bed,

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or do I just want them to be in their bed?

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Do I want to organize a meeting,

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or do I want this meeting to be organized by someone?

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There's a difference between the actions that I want

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to do myself and those that I want done.

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Maybe someone else can get it done.

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That's when you negotiate and delegate.

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The other path I can suggest is changing my

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perception of the time needed to perform a task.

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I think I need 4 hours to finish up this project.

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Do I really?

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Why not 3 hours?

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I think this meeting should last an hour.

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Really,

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why not 30 minutes?

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Parkinson's law states that all work ends up occupying the time allotted to it.

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If you set yourself a day to finish a job,

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it will be finished in a day.

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If you set yourself a week,

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it will take a week.

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Time boxing adepts have retained this law by defining

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in advance a tight allocated time for each task.

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I give myself an hour to finish this file.

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Setting deadlines,

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a timing you can't exceed can be extremely efficient.

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We often notice that the last moments are the most productive,

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especially in the creativity and decision making phase.

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We are limited by a very linear and repetitive perception of time.

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It's hard for our brain to imagine that we can perform certain tasks faster

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when we're used to performing them on a specific timing.

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I've experienced that.

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I divided the writing time for my videos by 4.

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My brain would have sworn it was impossible,

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and yet I did it.

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Time is meant to serve us.

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It can be elastic,

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magical even if we don't imprison it within our certainties.

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Certainties like I need 5 hours to rewrite my CV,

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really,

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or we need 3 meetings to decide what our new logo will be.

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Be flexible with time and give yourself challenges from time to time

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outside of logic and linearity.

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OK,

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I give myself 15 minutes to make this call with my client

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to deal with such or such an issue

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and let your intelligence and your clients bring

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you the solution on a silver platter.

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