00:00:05
look on the bright side of things,
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the magazines say.
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What are you seeing,
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the glass half full or half empty?
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Studies prove that seeing and contemplating the best
00:00:16
could give us a more fulfilling life.
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we will understand how our view of the
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world is always based by three filters selection,
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and generalization.
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But can we regain control over these three filters in order
00:00:31
to cultivate a more positive outlook and improve our daily life?
00:00:36
A few years ago,
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Christine Lewicki launched a blog called I Quit Complaining.
00:00:41
Every day she assessed her day in a video of her successes and failures,
00:00:46
her failures when she had complained.
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Her site went viral,
00:00:51
and she then wrote a book on the subject more than 100,000 copies sold.
00:00:56
Laughter and positive thinking are proven to be the greatest antidotes to stress.
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Humans are laughing less and less,
00:01:03
even if there's no better medicine for the body and the soul.
00:01:08
There are now laughter yoga classes and corporate clown training classes.
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Not feeling well,
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we can always choose to watch comedy movies and choose
00:01:18
to focus on the positive in what happens to you.
00:01:24
said that when a depressed person needs coaching,
00:01:27
he agrees to coach them on the condition that they write
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a list of 50 things they like about their life today.
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The answer is invariably,
00:01:37
but I am depressed.
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You understand that I can't see the positive,
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to which he responded that it was the initial requirement to start the coaching.
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Do you have hot water at home?
00:01:48
answered the future client.
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You just have to find 49 other subjects of satisfaction.
00:01:55
Are you skeptical about the idea of cultivating a positive outlook by telling
00:01:59
yourself that it is not real and that you are lying to yourself?
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I'll let you in on a secret.
00:02:05
What you think is real is not.
00:02:08
It's just a distorted view of reality.
00:02:12
Our perceptions are permanently distorted by three filters selection,
00:02:18
and generalization.
00:02:20
The first filter is selection.
00:02:22
What we perceive is only a very small part of the reality we have selected.
00:02:28
We do not see everything.
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We do not hear everything.
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We keep only a small glimpse of it.
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We select information according to our focus and state of mind.
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In a stressful situation,
00:02:41
we select all the reasons to worry.
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We rarely see that we have 2 or 3 options.
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It is only afterwards that we realized that we had other options.
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If you are tired and stressed,
00:02:54
you will remember more easily the reproaches that were made to you,
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the lack of smiles,
00:03:00
than all the positive things that are also there.
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If you're in a bad mood on vacation,
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you will see more greasy papers lying on the beach and noisy children
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than the sea at 27 degrees,
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and the light breeze.
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Through the filter of selection,
00:03:17
we only see a very small part of reality.
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The second filter is distortion.
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To better understand the new situation,
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we will capture part of the information and associate it with what we already know.
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If I tell you about my seaside vacations,
00:03:35
you will understand me right away
00:03:37
because you already have references on what seaside vacations look like.
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you interpret the information,
00:03:46
and sometimes the distortion,
00:03:47
the interpretation of reality can take us very far away from each other.
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someone from the north,
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tell you about my seaside vacation,
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I mean a grayish sea,
00:04:00
and huge beaches of wet sand with sailboats and mussel fishing.
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Perhaps you were picturing a turquoise blue sea and palm trees.
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if your seaside references are positive,
00:04:14
you will get excited at my proposal of a team building by the sea.
00:04:18
If these references are not so good,
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you will decline my suggestion.
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You made your decision by adapting the information I'm
00:04:26
giving you to the one you already know.
00:04:30
Same thing if I suggest that you register for a public speaking training,
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you will imagine,
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according to your references,
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what the training will be like
00:04:39
before you say yes or no.
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the third filter of perception is generalization.
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when we learn something,
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we tend to generalize it to other situations.
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What once existed is always true.
00:04:56
On an emotional level,
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what was strongly experienced once or experienced several times
00:05:01
will be generalized.
00:05:03
So we maintain that yes,
00:05:05
we can trust this client or we can't ask Philippe for anything.
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Or we will generalize based on our latest experience.
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Paul never says hello.
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This restaurant is delicious.
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This friend has a great sense of humor.
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Here is an example of a sequence of the three filters selection.
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You notice that your employee Alan did not turn in a file on time.
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At that moment you do not select the fact that a client called you about him
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to tell you that he was satisfied.
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you select the delay of the file
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distortion interpretation.
00:05:44
According to your references,
00:05:46
you will interpret this delay.
00:05:48
You can tell yourself,
00:05:50
that Alan ran out of time or that he is not interested in
00:05:53
his task or that he has personal problems that prevent him from focusing.
00:06:01
if you have interpreted that he has run out of time,
00:06:04
you can generalize as follows Alan is overwhelmed.
00:06:08
If you have interpreted that he is not interested in his task,
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you can generalize as follows he is demotivated.
00:06:16
If you have interpreted that he has
00:06:17
personal problems that prevent him from focusing,
00:06:20
you will deduce that his personal life is polluting his work.
00:06:25
So third filter,
00:06:28
We put on 3 pairs of glasses that transform reality and make us act.
00:06:34
Of course the behavior following these three automatic filters will be different
00:06:40
if we use the example of Alan,
00:06:42
who did not turn in the file on time.
00:06:45
If you have come to the point of Alan is overwhelmed,
00:06:48
you could invite him to talk about his organization and time management.
00:06:53
If you have come to the point where he is demotivated,
00:06:56
you could give him more motivating files or refocus him.
00:07:00
And if you have come to the point where he has personal problems,
00:07:05
you will look beyond your dissatisfaction with the delay,
00:07:08
or you will ask him about his private life.
00:07:11
the reality that we made up in our heads is not reality.
00:07:16
We automatically put on three pairs of glasses
00:07:20
that are selection,
00:07:22
and generalization and believe that we're perceiving reality.
00:07:27
Which pair of glasses do we choose to put on?
00:07:30
Do they make us see the world in gray or pink?
00:07:34
Often our three filters make us fall into a negative spiral of control and stress.
00:07:41
Learning to cultivate a positive outlook is not hiding the reality,
00:07:45
this reality that we perceive with so much limitation.
00:07:49
It simply means to be more in control of our automatic filters.
00:07:54
What do I select?
00:07:55
The glass half full,
00:07:56
the glass half empty?
00:07:58
Can I have a more complete picture of
00:08:00
reality without forgetting everything that is going well?
00:08:04
How I interpret what I have selected too quickly,
00:08:09
could I go back to the facts and avoid distorting them without any perspective?
00:08:14
And how do I generalize whether it will never work and I have no choice anyway,
00:08:19
or rather towards a generalization as to every problem there is a solution.
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