00:00:06
to oneself and to others,
00:00:08
but what is there to let go of?
00:00:11
Letting go of our desire to change the other person,
00:00:13
the environment,
00:00:15
Letting go even of our desires for a stress-free and conflict-free life.
00:00:21
Letting go is accepting to be human among other humans,
00:00:25
each with our talents and vulnerabilities.
00:00:28
It is to stop being at war over everything that displeases us.
00:00:33
Because we have the wisdom to choose the right fights and the wisdom to accept what
00:00:38
we have no power over and what is just waiting to be loved by us,
00:00:43
psychologist John Goman
00:00:45
has observed couples for years,
00:00:47
even in their conflicts.
00:00:49
He explains that couples who last are not the ones with the least amount of conflict,
00:00:54
but the ones who know how to get.
00:00:56
Over it than most quickly regain positive energy as
00:01:00
well as a loving look at each other.
00:01:03
those who let go of their certainties and struggles,
00:01:06
they have the wisdom to stop the verbal ping pong which consists of
00:01:11
proving to the other person that I am right and they are wrong,
00:01:14
and that therefore they must change their opinion or their way of doing things.
00:01:20
There is a saying that being an adult
00:01:22
is having the wisdom to discern what we can change,
00:01:26
changing what we can change and accepting what we cannot change.
00:01:31
Accepting what we cannot change is called letting go.
00:01:35
Letting go is to stop repeating over and over again.
00:01:39
It must change or it should be different.
00:01:43
It is this certainty
00:01:45
that feeds our stress.
00:01:47
If you have really tried
00:01:51
with a positive,
00:01:53
emotional state,
00:01:54
now is the time to let go of your convictions and struggles
00:01:59
and forge a path outside the battlefield by changing
00:02:03
perception or changing position or partner or region.
00:02:07
If there is no solution,
00:02:09
then there is no problem.
00:02:11
Difficulties are part of our lives,
00:02:13
and it's OK to regularly have things that challenge us.
00:02:19
Some conflicts are insoluble
00:02:21
because you will never be able to change the other person
00:02:24
or change them even if you tell them they must change.
00:02:29
Some problems cannot be solved because you will never be able to change,
00:02:33
polishing yourself and making yourself pure and perfect just like you dreamed.
00:02:38
The main thing is not to lock oneself into fighting and stress,
00:02:43
especially when no solution is on the horizon.
00:02:47
Specialists say that our conflicts are based on the same two or three concerns that
00:02:53
go round and round in a loop in our family or our professional life.
00:02:59
as we perceive them,
00:03:01
would be intractable and endless
00:03:04
as long as our perception remains the same.
00:03:07
The problem is insoluble.
00:03:09
We struggle for years to change ourselves or the others or the environment,
00:03:15
sometimes to no avail.
00:03:16
Your colleague Anna is too talkative.
00:03:19
She can control herself to please you,
00:03:22
but she will undoubtedly remain talkative all her life.
00:03:26
It's up to you to find strategies to deal with it better,
00:03:30
to accept having to always interrupt her or to change offices.
00:03:35
Your boss Paul is demanding.
00:03:37
He will be able to control himself a little,
00:03:40
but he will undoubtedly always remain a demanding being.
00:03:46
to find strategies to deal with it better.
00:03:48
It's up to you to say no or to change jobs.
00:03:51
Your team member Andrew is disorganized.
00:03:54
He will be able to make some effort,
00:03:56
but he will probably remain disorganized all his life.
00:04:00
It's up to you to find strategies to deal with it better,
00:04:03
to help him with his organization,
00:04:06
to transfer him elsewhere,
00:04:08
or yourself to change positions.
00:04:10
The rough sides of each other are likely to rub our sensitive sides.
00:04:15
You are susceptible,
00:04:17
and you have to deal with somebody who is critical.
00:04:20
Maybe this is a chance to cure your susceptibility.
00:04:23
You have polished communication,
00:04:25
but you work in an environment
00:04:27
where everyone expresses their disagreement bluntly.
00:04:30
Perhaps this is an opportunity to put
00:04:32
your certainties about communication into perspective.
00:04:36
You are a go-getter.
00:04:38
Your colleague is slow.
00:04:39
Maybe this is a gift to better adjust your speed.
00:04:43
Most of the time differences in perception and ways of
00:04:46
doing things irritate us without being able to change them,
00:04:50
and so much the better.
00:04:52
It's up to us to see if it's worth it.
00:04:55
You are free either to continue the collaboration
00:04:58
with these people by making an opportunity of it
00:05:01
to let go or to choose to bow out and collaborate with others who are more like you
00:05:07
instead of trying to change the other person or yourself
00:05:10
or to fight against the other one or yourself.
00:05:13
Letting go is a choice.
00:05:15
It is not a resignation.
00:05:17
It is the fruit of a real step back,
00:05:20
of an acceptance of the world and of yourself.
00:05:25
Humans will always have their moments of irritation and conflict their dramas.
00:05:30
Kathami Lal Singh said,
00:05:32
You have no problems.
00:05:34
You create them because you are bored.
00:05:36
Through wisdom and letting go,
00:05:39
you will observe that new conflicts that emerge fall away very quickly.
00:05:44
So much that you can laugh about it within minutes of their explosion.
00:05:48
You are angry with yourself,
00:05:50
with the other person,
00:05:51
with the environment.
00:05:53
You let out your cry.
00:05:55
It had to come out.
00:05:58
Now you can let go
00:06:00
instead of striving to change the other person,
00:06:03
or the environment,
00:06:05
sometimes it helps,
00:06:07
sometimes it doesn't.
00:06:08
With letting go,
00:06:08
we can laugh at having fought so hard against the windmills in the wisdom.
00:06:15
we can applaud ourselves for having played a
00:06:17
moment with the other person or the environment,
00:06:20
a scene of drama.
00:06:21
It was not a drama.
00:06:23
It was an experience
00:06:24
which can be distilled in wisdom if we embrace it,
00:06:28
if we let it go.
No elements match your search in this video....
Do another search or
back to content !
