Playing big : putting an end to inner criticism Tutorial

Do you let inner criticism hold you back from greatness? In 'Playing Big: Putting an End to Inner Criticism,' discover how to silence that self-doubt and embrace your potential. Explore insights on assertiveness and courage, and learn why playing big is essential for your personal and professional growth. Don't miss the chance to transform your mindset and step into your power!

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the right person for such and such a professional mission

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or not yet ready to go and defend your project and the management?

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If you censor your impulses by doubting your capacities,

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by putting off your achievements,

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it is certainly because the inner critic will have had the last word.

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So who is this voice,

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this critic?

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How does it operate and above all,

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how can one be more intelligent than it,

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playing big as Tara Moore would say?

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Have you ever heard the inner voice

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that pushes you to play small,

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the voice of playing small?

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I like to ask my coaches,

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what are the main improvements to be made in their department.

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From a continuous improvement perspective,

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it's a basic question.

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What are your three recommendations

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to improve workload distribution or improve customer relations

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or for find more satisfaction in your work?

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They always have ideas

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and then very often when they have detailed the recommendations to

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me and it's time to turn those recommendations into a goal,

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then

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my coaches often start to drag their feet.

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Yes,

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but they tell me.

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It seems that we are all born with the yes but.

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We wallow in this yes but assertion to the point that it seems normal to us.

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Yes,

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but there are so many obstacles that I won't be able to make it.

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Yes,

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but I'm not the right person to do this.

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Yes,

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but

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we have aspects within us that whisper these yes buts

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in our ears when they see us about to get excited on projects.

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One of the yes but aspects

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is that of the protector.

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In fact,

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it's a judge,

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but it prefers to be called the protector.

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It is there to make sure we don't

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do things that are risky or emotionally uncomfortable.

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It wants to protect us from pain against anything,

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from reckless action.

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If you speak at this meeting,

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you'll be embarrassed or be criticized or hurt someone.

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If you take initiative in the client relationship,

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you risk failure.

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It always tells us that it's not the right time that we're not ready.

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Wait a few more years before applying for a job or setting up your company.

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For the protector,

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thinking big

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always means having bitten off more than you can chew.

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It's far too risky.

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How does our protect aspect express itself,

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this terrible aspect that pushes us to play small.

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The safety instinct of the protector holds us back

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by setting tensions in our stomach or our throat.

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As soon as we try to go beyond his protective barriers,

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he sends us messages of doubt,

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doubt about our intelligence,

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our legitimacy,

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our leadership,

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our interpersonal skills,

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our creativity.

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The protector particularly whispers three doubts in our ear

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to prevent us to aspiring to great things.

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You can do wrong,

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you can hurt people,

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you can hurt yourself.

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You can do wrong.

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A good reason to self-censor yourself,

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isn't it?

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To stay in our comfort zone,

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doing what we know how to do right,

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rather than risk playing bigger.

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What if I don't do the right thing?

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What if I don't do it the right way?

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What if I fail in my project or my mission?

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But isn't it worth going for it,

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even if we risk failure,

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failure which is only a learning opportunity.

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That being said,

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I invite companies to encourage initiative,

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valorize the culture of the right to fail.

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It's OK to fail,

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that's part of the test and learn process.

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Without that right to fail,

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everyone censors themselves and plays small,

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keeping it belt and braces.

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Second out,

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you can hurt.

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Sometimes the protector will appeal to our moral sense

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to prevent us from speaking or acting.

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What if you hurt the other person?

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Don't do that.

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You'll hurt them or you're going to overshadow them.

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Your colleague has just told you that they are applying for this job.

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You can't apply too.

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Your colleague behaved badly towards you.

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Let it go.

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They're tired.

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If you say something,

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you'll make it worse.

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You want to change job for a job that you like but pays less.

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Think about your children.

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You're not going to deprive them of a vacation,

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are you?

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You don't want to help,

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support,

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and carry your colleague any more.

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Be nice.

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They really need you.

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You would like to change job now when the team is in the middle of a rush.

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You can't do that to them.

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Wait a year or two until everything's in order.

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Do you think that the protector,

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when it asks you to play small,

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cares more about others than about you?

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Think again.

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Not hurting others is above all a survival instinct reflex.

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If you are nice to others,

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if they are happy with you,

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they will give you recognition.

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Above all,

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you have the guarantee that you will not be excluded or rejected.

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This guarantee is a good reason to keep playing small,

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isn't it?

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You can hurt yourself.

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Third doubt that pushes us to play small

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when the protector explains to us that following our

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inspiration to speak or act is far too risky.

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You know,

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the board of directors,

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they're really tough.

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That's no place for you as a woman.

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You're far too sensitive.

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Resigning to set up your own company when you haven't finished your training,

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you'll burn your wings.

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To actively commit yourself to defend teleworking the company

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is going to put yourself in a bad light.

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You'll suffer the consequences.

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Don't raise your voice so loud.

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And if these three doubts you can do badly,

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you can hurt,

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you can hurt yourself when not enough to stop us,

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then the protector removes his mask to take on the face of the judge.

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Who do you think you are?

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No more in a doubt.

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We move on to the next level.

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inner criticism.

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The judge lowers us.

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The one who said he was our protector

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was there as a nice guy

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to prevent us from playing great,

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but as his arguments didn't work and he is in fact scared to death

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that we take a risk that he wanted to avoid,

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he brings out the big guns.

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He puts on his judge's cape,

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and his fatal weapon consists in reminding us of all the times that

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we did wrong when we got hurt and when we hurt others.

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Guilt is his destructive weapon.

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Going to collect in the past all our regrets and

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putting them under our eyes with its cursed wand,

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he annihilates all our hopes for the future to bring us back obediently into line.

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Remember when you screwed up on such and such a project.

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Do you remember when your boss took a dislike to you?

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Remember when you went bankrupt on your first business?

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Remember how you made a fool of yourself during the management committee.

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Do you remember how you made this colleague cry?

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You should have rather.

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Do you want to do it again?

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Who do you think you are?

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What a lack of lucidity.

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What unconsciousness.

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What arrogance.

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Forget it.

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You don't have time for these projects anyway.

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Wait until the reorganization is over.

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Wait until you have more experience.

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Wait until your children have grown up.

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Doubt and guilt are the weapons of self-censorship.

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This inner aspect that judges us is just a little

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boy or a little girl who is scared to death

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while you are a man or a woman with inestimable potential,

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a man or a woman who is right to think big,

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to dream big,

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and to play big.

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In fact,

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if you remove doubt and guilt from your life,

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you will no longer have a problem with self-confidence.

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In fact,

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you don't suffer from a lack of self-confidence,

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you suffer from an excess of doubt and guilt.

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You are trapped in dual thinking.

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It's time to move on to the third part.

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How can we live and move forward despite our protector

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and judge aspects that push us to play small?

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How can we play big in spite of that aspect?

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Tip one.

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Recognize inner criticism.

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Inner criticism seems to be on our side,

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protecting us,

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preventing us from speaking and acting too spontaneously.

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Inner criticism appears logical,

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telling us you're not ready.

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You should be working out.

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Don't be so ambitious.

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You shouldn't have contradicted your colleague.

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You will recognize it

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because it is binary,

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good,

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bad,

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black,

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white.

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Because it is repetitive and persistent like a broken record,

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sometimes it speaks through mirrors.

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Friends who counsel and judge us saying they want to protect us.

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You will recognize it because this protective voice,

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if we don't listen to it,

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can become harsh and uncompromising,

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full of accusations.

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The mask of the protector has fallen.

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And the voice reveals its judgments.

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You will recognize it more easily

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when it becomes accusatory

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because you don't talk like that to someone you love

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because you don't cut the wings of someone you love.

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On the contrary,

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we help them to deploy their projects

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by being realistic.

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Constructive criticism,

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on the other hand,

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does not prevent us from seeing big

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and building big.

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How to differentiate it from inner censorship.

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Here are 4 tips.

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Tip one internal criticism

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makes defining judgments.

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When constructive criticism asks questions,

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opens up,

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takes an interest.

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2,

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internal criticism cultivates the binary thought black,

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white,

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good,

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bad,

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possible,

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impossible.

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While constructive criticism sees the world in

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a multitude of colors and possible options,

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3

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internal criticism

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keeps bringing up past and problems,

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while constructive criticism seeks solutions for

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a future it envisions as positive.

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4,

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internal criticism has an anxious or even aggressive tone,

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while constructive criticism is calm or even playful.

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Tip 2 while facing the judge.

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Change your frequency.

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Now that you know how to recognize the voice of the inner critic,

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change the radio frequency.

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I invite you not to spend too much time looking for the source of doubt and guilt.

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They are there.

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They will be there for a long time.

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They may be there forever,

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but their voice will be so low that you won't hear them any more,

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especially because you will have learned to direct your ears to other messages.

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The messages of your aspirations,

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your intuition and your action plans.

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It's a bit like having a 307.9 radio frequency

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that broadcasts messages of doubt and guilt,

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but you never connect to that frequency again.

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It continues to broadcast its message,

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but you're no longer its listener.

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When you try to understand its message,

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where the doubts come from and why what happened in your childhood,

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what wounds need to be healed in you,

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you continue to listen to this radio.

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When you seek to argue or destroy the guilt and out in your life to work on you.

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That's like calling the radio station on air to

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say that you disagree with what they're saying.

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You're always on their frequency.

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Why not play this game for a while,

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but I advise you to change the frequency instead.

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Tip 3,

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take back the wheel consciously.

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Taking back the wheel means keeping the role

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of decision maker away from the inner critic.

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The inner critic is an aspect,

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a voice.

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It is not our center,

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our heart.

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The voice of self doubt and guilt will keep on warning us.

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On hearing we have decided a change in our department.

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You can do wrong,

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you can fail,

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the inner critic tells you.

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Yes,

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and so what

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you can do badly.

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You can hurt,

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says the inner critic.

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Yes,

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so what

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you can hurt yourself,

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says the inner critic.

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Yes,

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so what?

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We can answer this voice.

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Thank you.

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I know that you want to protect me and protect others.

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I have taken your arguments into account,

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but I am the one who decides.

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Playing big advises us,

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Tara more.

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Don't wait until you have no more doubts to act.

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Don't wait until you are confident to act.

Mandarine AI: WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW