00:00:08
Not necessarily.
00:00:09
Mediation requires the development of a high level of relational intelligence
00:00:15
and skills that are sometimes the opposite
00:00:18
of the leadership skills that are so popular in companies.
00:00:22
Here are the four
00:00:23
essential qualities of a mediator
00:00:26
to be structured.
00:00:27
To remain neutral,
00:00:29
to be active listening,
00:00:31
and to trust others.
00:00:33
Being structured
00:00:34
is a prerequisite for successful mediation.
00:00:38
Your interpersonal skills will not be enough if you do
00:00:42
not know how to lead the discussion and mediation.
00:00:45
Mediation cannot be improvised.
00:00:48
It follows a very structured steps.
00:00:51
The mediator is responsible for ensuring that the steps are carried out correctly
00:00:56
and for being extremely clear in explaining them.
00:01:00
Mediation begins with a time of individual interview
00:01:04
between the mediator and the conflicting parties.
00:01:08
At the end of these interviews,
00:01:10
the parties will decide
00:01:12
whether or not they want to enter mediation.
00:01:15
They will opt for mediation with you
00:01:18
if they again believe that an agreement is possible,
00:01:23
everything has been blocked for days,
00:01:27
So when you meet with them,
00:01:29
they are very skeptical about a positive outcome.
00:01:33
When you come out of the first individual interview,
00:01:36
they will hopefully be ready for mediation.
00:01:39
It is your clarity that will have convinced them.
00:01:42
You will have been clear
00:01:44
about the process.
00:01:46
You will have clearly explained your role and theirs.
00:01:49
You will have reassured them about the steps and what is expected.
00:01:55
From this clarity will be borne a surge of hope and the desire for a solution.
00:02:02
The second quality
00:02:08
and independence of the mediator are prerequisites.
00:02:13
Regardless of the result achieved,
00:02:15
whether the mediator had a better solution in mind,
00:02:19
if the parties have reached a balanced and lasting agreement,
00:02:22
that is the key.
00:02:24
Your neutrality will always be gauged by those in conflict.
00:02:28
If one of the parties feels the mediator has taken sides,
00:02:33
mediation is over.
00:02:36
Don't let yourself take the side of those you consider to be the victim.
00:02:41
Don't seek justice.
00:02:43
Don't lecture anyone.
00:02:45
Don't take matters into your own hands because you find mediation to be slippery.
00:02:50
The mediator strives to have no bias
00:02:54
either on solutions nor on people.
00:02:57
They will put aside their preferences for one or the other party.
00:03:01
They will set aside their own value system,
00:03:04
and they will listen
00:03:06
to those that they accompany.
00:03:08
They will not put their ego into the success of the mediation,
00:03:12
wanting the parties to find a solution at all costs.
00:03:15
They do not need to be remembered as a hero.
00:03:19
I am the one through whom the negotiation will have succeeded.
00:03:23
They do not need to be seen,
00:03:28
They are only the facilitators of discussions and negotiations,
00:03:33
a support for the people to find solutions themselves.
00:03:38
If they are congratulated,
00:03:40
they will be able to give credit where credit is due.
00:03:44
That is to recognize that it is the parties that have found their solution.
00:03:49
The third quality of the mediator is being an active listener.
00:03:54
Is this a natural quality or a skill acquired through experience and training?
00:03:59
Certainly it's both.
00:04:01
Active listening consists first of all in synchronizing oneself
00:04:06
with the other to establish a relationship of trust.
00:04:10
The other person feels understood
00:04:12
because they feel this synchronization of your posture,
00:04:19
It's nothing like mimicking the other one,
00:04:22
just adjusting to them to reduce the distance.
00:04:25
Active listening is also the art of questioning the other person.
00:04:31
understand what they are going through,
00:04:33
to help them find out what the real source of conflict is,
00:04:37
and to help them express their emotions and formulate priorities.
00:04:43
questioning gives the other person a sense of perspective,
00:04:47
and it helps them to get out of emotional confusion.
00:04:52
active listening is the art of reformulating without judgment.
00:04:57
What the other person says,
00:04:59
so they feel heard,
00:05:01
they feel understood,
00:05:02
and they have an echo of their own reasoning.
00:05:05
By actively listening
00:05:07
to each of the parties,
00:05:08
you will teach them
00:05:10
to listen to each other actively without judgment.
00:05:15
that in the first group interview,
00:05:17
the parties are not willing to listen to each other
00:05:20
and will tend to cut each other off and make nonverbal signs of protest.
00:05:26
The quality of listening,
00:05:28
and rephrasing of the mediator will open their openness to discussion.
00:05:34
Another piece of advice too,
00:05:37
You will notice that at the beginning,
00:05:39
the parties do not look at each other.
00:05:41
By focusing your gaze on the one who is speaking and only the one who is speaking,
00:05:47
you will gradually bring the other party to look at the other.
00:05:50
This simple fact will be a great victory in mediation,
00:05:54
a turning point.
00:05:56
4th quality of the mediator,
00:06:00
A good coach cannot accompany people if he doesn't have
00:06:04
the infinite confidence in their abilities to find solutions,
00:06:09
to find their way.
00:06:11
So is the mediator.
00:06:13
If you don't believe in the people you're with,
00:06:15
if you are thinking they are stupid or stubborn
00:06:18
or unable to find their own,
00:06:20
to reach a lasting solution,
00:06:23
stop the mediation immediately.
00:06:25
You can possibly take on the hat of the arbitrator,
00:06:29
but certainly not of the mediator.
00:06:33
Do you think that the parties can reach a decision that works for everybody,
00:06:38
even if the decision will be a consensual breakdown of the relationship?
00:06:42
Are you confident in your ability to mediate?
00:06:46
Do you trust the structured process of mediation
00:06:50
that has proven to be successful?
00:06:55
that if a mediation does not succeed,
00:06:57
it is because one or the other party did not want to find a lasting solution.
00:07:02
These people make mediation fail
00:07:05
because for them the benefits of the conflict outweigh the benefits of agreement.
00:07:11
Trusting the process
00:07:14
goes hand in hand with infinite patience.
00:07:18
The more trust you have,
00:07:19
the more trust the parties in conflict will have.
00:07:22
You will need a lot of patience
00:07:25
because most of the time mediation doesn't advance at the beginning.
00:07:29
Conflicts sometimes go on for.
00:07:32
It is normal that it takes time at the beginning
00:07:34
for a change to take place and for a resolution to be reached.
00:07:38
Be patient and trustful.
00:07:42
we have seen together that there are 4 essential qualities of a mediator
00:07:46
being structured,
00:07:48
actively listening,
No elements match your search in this video....
Do another search or
back to content !
