Qualities of the mediator Tutorial

Unlock the essential qualities of an effective mediator in 'Qualities of the Mediator.' This video dives deep into the importance of being structured, neutral, an active listener, and genuinely trusting in people's abilities. Discover how mastering these attributes can transform conflict resolution and build lasting agreements. Join us to elevate your mediation skills and promote collaboration in teamwork!

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Not necessarily.

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Mediation requires the development of a high level of relational intelligence

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and skills that are sometimes the opposite

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of the leadership skills that are so popular in companies.

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Here are the four

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essential qualities of a mediator

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to be structured.

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To remain neutral,

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to be active listening,

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and to trust others.

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Being structured

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is a prerequisite for successful mediation.

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Your interpersonal skills will not be enough if you do

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not know how to lead the discussion and mediation.

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Mediation cannot be improvised.

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It follows a very structured steps.

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The mediator is responsible for ensuring that the steps are carried out correctly

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and for being extremely clear in explaining them.

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Mediation begins with a time of individual interview

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between the mediator and the conflicting parties.

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At the end of these interviews,

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the parties will decide

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whether or not they want to enter mediation.

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They will opt for mediation with you

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if they again believe that an agreement is possible,

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even though

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everything has been blocked for days,

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weeks,

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or even months.

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So when you meet with them,

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they are very skeptical about a positive outcome.

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When you come out of the first individual interview,

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they will hopefully be ready for mediation.

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It is your clarity that will have convinced them.

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You will have been clear

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about the process.

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You will have clearly explained your role and theirs.

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You will have reassured them about the steps and what is expected.

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From this clarity will be borne a surge of hope and the desire for a solution.

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The second quality

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being neutral.

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The neutrality,

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impartiality,

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and independence of the mediator are prerequisites.

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Regardless of the result achieved,

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whether the mediator had a better solution in mind,

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if the parties have reached a balanced and lasting agreement,

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that is the key.

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Your neutrality will always be gauged by those in conflict.

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If one of the parties feels the mediator has taken sides,

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mediation is over.

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Stay neutral.

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Don't let yourself take the side of those you consider to be the victim.

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Don't seek justice.

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Don't lecture anyone.

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Don't take matters into your own hands because you find mediation to be slippery.

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The mediator strives to have no bias

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either on solutions nor on people.

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They will put aside their preferences for one or the other party.

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They will set aside their own value system,

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and they will listen

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to those that they accompany.

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They will not put their ego into the success of the mediation,

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wanting the parties to find a solution at all costs.

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They do not need to be remembered as a hero.

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I am the one through whom the negotiation will have succeeded.

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They do not need to be seen,

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recognized,

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heard,

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or followed.

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They are only the facilitators of discussions and negotiations,

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a support for the people to find solutions themselves.

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If they are congratulated,

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they will be able to give credit where credit is due.

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That is to recognize that it is the parties that have found their solution.

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The third quality of the mediator is being an active listener.

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Is this a natural quality or a skill acquired through experience and training?

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Certainly it's both.

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Active listening consists first of all in synchronizing oneself

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with the other to establish a relationship of trust.

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The other person feels understood

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because they feel this synchronization of your posture,

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of your voice,

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of your energy.

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It's nothing like mimicking the other one,

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just adjusting to them to reduce the distance.

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Active listening is also the art of questioning the other person.

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To help them

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understand what they are going through,

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to help them find out what the real source of conflict is,

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and to help them express their emotions and formulate priorities.

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Good

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questioning gives the other person a sense of perspective,

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and it helps them to get out of emotional confusion.

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Finally,

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active listening is the art of reformulating without judgment.

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What the other person says,

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so they feel heard,

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they feel understood,

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and they have an echo of their own reasoning.

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By actively listening

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to each of the parties,

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you will teach them

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to listen to each other actively without judgment.

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You will notice

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that in the first group interview,

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the parties are not willing to listen to each other

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and will tend to cut each other off and make nonverbal signs of protest.

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The quality of listening,

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questioning,

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and rephrasing of the mediator will open their openness to discussion.

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Another piece of advice too,

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your gaze.

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You will notice that at the beginning,

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the parties do not look at each other.

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By focusing your gaze on the one who is speaking and only the one who is speaking,

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you will gradually bring the other party to look at the other.

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This simple fact will be a great victory in mediation,

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a turning point.

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The

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4th quality of the mediator,

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trusting.

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A good coach cannot accompany people if he doesn't have

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the infinite confidence in their abilities to find solutions,

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to grow up,

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to find their way.

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So is the mediator.

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If you don't believe in the people you're with,

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if you are thinking they are stupid or stubborn

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or unable to find their own,

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to reach a lasting solution,

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stop the mediation immediately.

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You can possibly take on the hat of the arbitrator,

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but not sure,

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but certainly not of the mediator.

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Do you trust?

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Do you think that the parties can reach a decision that works for everybody,

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even if the decision will be a consensual breakdown of the relationship?

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Are you confident in your ability to mediate?

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Do you trust the structured process of mediation

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that has proven to be successful?

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In fact,

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some people say

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that if a mediation does not succeed,

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it is because one or the other party did not want to find a lasting solution.

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These people make mediation fail

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because for them the benefits of the conflict outweigh the benefits of agreement.

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Trusting the process

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and the people

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goes hand in hand with infinite patience.

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The more trust you have,

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the more trust the parties in conflict will have.

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You will need a lot of patience

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because most of the time mediation doesn't advance at the beginning.

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Conflicts sometimes go on for.

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It is normal that it takes time at the beginning

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for a change to take place and for a resolution to be reached.

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Be patient and trustful.

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So

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we have seen together that there are 4 essential qualities of a mediator

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being structured,

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neutral,

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actively listening,

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and trustful.

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