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or in other words,
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how to manage everything that occurs and that
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worries us or makes us feel uncomfortable.
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in a world that at first glance does not
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seem to correspond to what our mind would want.
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It's all about trust,
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trusting ourselves and trusting life and others.
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In this video we will first zoom in on the mechanics of fear and self-confidence,
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then on the control mechanisms of the mind.
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Let's first discuss the link between fear and self-confidence.
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Fear is perceived as a break,
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which prevents us from trusting ourselves or others.
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That's why fear,
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if it directs our lives,
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becomes the antithesis of trust.
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there's a big risk.
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I'll be rejected,
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I will be judged,
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my image will be tainted.
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I will have less pleasure.
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I risk losing money.
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Fear perceives that the risk of doing this or saying this is too high.
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If we don't follow these fear signals but act in spite of them,
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we'll feel high tension and a very fragile confidence,
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so fragile that we will do it badly or maybe even fail,
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and fear will tell us.
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I was right to be afraid,
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it was too risky.
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Sometimes fear collapses a strong desire.
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Two parties confront each other.
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Was fear right to prevent us going through this or that experience?
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Perhaps we were not ready.
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This did not mean that the experience was to be avoided.
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It was only that our body and mind were not ready for the experience.
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What if fear only has this role to hold us back
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sometimes through hormone secretion not to tell us don't go,
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but rather to tell us don't go now.
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We're not ready yet.
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To tame fear is to make it something normal.
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It is normal for humans to be apprehensive about the unknown.
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It is normal that they are afraid to go out of their
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comfort zone or to places where they have suffered in the past.
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But who is going to win,
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the desire to explore or the fear to go?
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Fear gives us a warning message.
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Our master part,
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our inner being,
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is strong enough and wise enough to deal with that warning message.
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is the warning message of fear?
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It's really dangerous.
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It won't be good for you.
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Probably appropriate advice to follow.
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Is the message don't go now because you're not ready.
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Get ready and we'll talk about it later.
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Probably appropriate advice to follow.
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what's going to happen?
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I'd rather not go.
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I'm afraid because I can't control it.
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Too much unknown for me or too many bad memories.
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In this third case,
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it is time to reconnect with the desire to go.
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It's time to take by the hand the little boy or girl who is afraid in us and to go.
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It is not my childish fear that will have the last word.
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It is my desire to experience.
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Our reptilian and limbic brains sometimes paralyse us as if there was real danger,
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as if our survival were at stake.
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As if a sabre toothed tiger would pounce on us
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in public speaking situations,
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we are in these archaic reflexes of reptilian and mammalian
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brains that we have in common with the animal world.
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if you are an animal alone facing a group of
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animals in a circle around you looking at you,
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you're going to die soon.
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They will attack you.
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They will eat you.
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All those pairs of red eyes looking at you silently.
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This is your death warrant.
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But in public speaking,
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your physical survival is not threatened,
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even if your archaic brain believes it.
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For those who are stressed by public speaking,
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your body is so alarmed that you will try to run away,
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you will be paralysed,
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unable to find your words.
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Those words that are in your neocortex brain which you cannot access in fear.
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Our reptilian brain takes over thinking that public
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speaking is a threat to our survival.
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When we breathe and step back,
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when we understand that this reptilian fear of being alone
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in front of an audience is somehow normal and logical,
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then we contain this fear.
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that this is a distorted perception of reality that no one is going to eat us or kill us
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and choose trust,
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confidence in ourselves,
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confidence in this environment that we thought was hostile,
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because the best way to tame fear is to act.
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Confidence is to have the courage to act without knowing the result.
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It is to leave one's comfort zone to try something new.
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We often want to have confidence before acting.
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but you risk getting into a routine if you
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always wait until you are confident before acting.
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In the case of experimenting with the new,
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trust will not be the prerequisite,
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but the consequence,
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the consequence of the action.
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in spite of the fear,
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is what generates trust.
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And the more you dare to act,
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even with the knot in your stomach,
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the more your confidence will grow.
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One day your confidence will be such
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that you will no longer feel the knot in your stomach,
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even when you go outside your comfort zone,
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even when you encounter failure.
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You will keep your confidence in yourself and in life.
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You will turn failure into a learning opportunity.
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Now let's talk about the control mechanism of the mind.
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Our mind likes to control,
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and plan for the future.
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It hates not knowing what tomorrow will look like.
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It does not like uncertainty or change.
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When it cannot master or control,
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it sets the alarm
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with a lot of unpleasant emotions,
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especially fear,
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that it creates from scratch to avoid taking new paths too risky.
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It strives to prove to us that our dreams are unfeasible,
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that it will never work.
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It keeps us in the known.
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our mind is not made to manage the unknown,
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but it excels at managing the known
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and creating successful and endlessly repetitive programmes and processes.
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The mind tells its own stories about the past and the future.
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It reminds us that terrible things have happened
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and that terrible things can happen again.
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It is manipulated by perceptions,
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a mental imagery that sees with a dark philtre past and future disasters.
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It does not differentiate between past,
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imagined or real.
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Trust requires going beyond that mind in any case,
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whole life and take all our decisions.
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Otherwise your life will be very boring,
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a life with zero risk,
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a life where everything is under control.
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To have confidence is to dare to go beyond the known,
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It's believing that you have everything to gain by going outside your comfort zone.
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So stress or confidence,
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which do you choose?
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Stress and confidence.
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Stress is OK if trust is sovereign.
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Trust in you in life,
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trust in our resilience,
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our ability to always bounce back to the best.
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Moments of intense stress
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are moments of chaos
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that are often profitable if we embrace their meaning and their benefits.
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Crisis is the germ of a new beginning for those who
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do not cling to the past and resist what happens.
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If you think you have tried everything
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to resolve a very difficult and stressful situation
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and everything seems to be slipping away from you.
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It may be you need to open your hands and stop holding back.
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Choose to trust in what is happening to you
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that you can't control or no longer control.
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Do not hold back the overflowing river by feverishly
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adding bags of sand to plug it up.
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Trust that the flood will bring a new fresh start,
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new plantings in a soil that needed cleaning.
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even in the midst of stress,
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take care of yourself,
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let the answers come and dare to discover new paths.
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We have more resources in us than we think.
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