Adopting a constructive attitude Tutorial

Discover how to foster cooperation and effectively manage conflicts in the workplace in "Adopting a Constructive Attitude." This insightful video breaks down the three key hindrances—criticism, confirmation, and justification—and offers four powerful strategies to transform challenges into opportunities. Learn to approach disagreements with curiosity and turn negativity into constructive dialogue. Watch now to enhance your assertiveness and courage!

08:45
3 views

Selected for you
New

Available in SoftSkills

00:00:07

cooperation at work and manage disputes and conflicts?

00:00:11

We will see the 3 hindrances to avoid and the 4 good habits to maintain.

00:00:16

The three hindrances to constructive attitude are criticism,

00:00:21

confirmation,

00:00:21

and justification.

00:00:23

Criticism is our natural tendency to oppose the other person's point of view

00:00:29

when it is different from ours.

00:00:31

One of the first words a child says,

00:00:33

no.

00:00:34

As adults we often keep this automatism of opposition.

00:00:38

As soon as someone else states a different opinion than what we believe in,

00:00:43

we try to dismantle it and prove that they are wrong and that we are right.

00:00:48

It is an unconscious territory game.

00:00:51

That slows down collaboration,

00:00:53

feeds rivalry,

00:00:54

and fuels conflict.

00:00:56

By being critical and seeing only the negative

00:00:59

in the other person's arguments and actions,

00:01:01

we generate conflict or silence.

00:01:04

In short,

00:01:05

communication is at risk.

00:01:07

Coming out of criticism means above.

00:01:09

All welcoming the opinions of others with curiosity and openness,

00:01:14

then giving your opinion in a positive and constructive way.

00:01:19

Coming out of criticism is always bringing other solutions,

00:01:23

options or alternatives when a suggestion does not suit you.

00:01:27

This is called constructive criticism

00:01:30

in the positive sense of the word.

00:01:33

If a criticism is not followed by a suggestion.

00:01:36

It is a very limited value.

00:01:38

It is the ego manifesting itself.

00:01:40

It's better to leave room for creativity

00:01:43

than for the ego.

00:01:45

I also very often hear coachches sigh demotivated,

00:01:49

saying that their boss is vocal when things are going badly,

00:01:52

yet never expresses satisfaction,

00:01:54

never gives positive feedback.

00:01:57

I understand their discouragement and invite them

00:02:00

to simply ask their boss for feedback,

00:02:02

and then

00:02:04

I ask them about the criticism they have just made about their boss.

00:02:08

And you,

00:02:09

do you find it useful to give positive feedback to your colleagues,

00:02:13

your clients,

00:02:13

or even your superiors?

00:02:15

Yes,

00:02:16

positive feedback is not only for managers.

00:02:20

To conclude,

00:02:21

there are two solutions to get out of criticism.

00:02:24

Valuing,

00:02:25

valuing what is done,

00:02:27

valuing others,

00:02:28

and suggesting,

00:02:29

providing constructive alternatives.

00:02:33

Now let's look at the second hindrance to constructive attitude,

00:02:37

confirmation.

00:02:39

Confirmation is our natural tendency to only retain what

00:02:43

we agree with from what the other person says.

00:02:47

It is so reassuring to surround ourselves with like-minded people.

00:02:51

We say,

00:02:52

yes,

00:02:52

he's right,

00:02:53

which simply means he's right because he thinks like me.

00:02:57

We say Cathy is smart,

00:02:59

which means Cathy is smart because she has the same ideas as me.

00:03:03

We need to feel reassured by people who think like us,

00:03:07

so we barricade ourselves from what's new from what bothers us.

00:03:12

Let's take,

00:03:12

for example,

00:03:13

a manager who comes up with an idea for the solution to a problem.

00:03:17

I have the solution.

00:03:19

We have to change the process,

00:03:21

he asks his employees for their opinion and tends

00:03:24

to only retain the value those who think like him

00:03:27

and suggest changing the process.

00:03:30

Unfortunately we often feel attacked by those who oppose our point of view,

00:03:35

especially if they are aggressive about it.

00:03:38

We take the attack personally and shut down

00:03:40

their arguments that may be of great value.

00:03:43

Yes,

00:03:43

most of the time we prefer the company of those who think like us.

00:03:49

In this quest for confirmation of what we believe,

00:03:52

we risk missing excellent ideas swept aside with a yes,

00:03:56

but

00:03:57

or it's not possible because.

00:04:00

The two solutions to get out of the trap of confirmation

00:04:03

one,

00:04:04

to open up to the other person with sincere curiosity for their difference.

00:04:09

2,

00:04:09

to enrich yourself with their perceptions and ideas.

00:04:13

The third hindrance to constructive attitude is justification.

00:04:18

What is justification?

00:04:19

It is our natural tendency to defend ourselves in anticipation of possible attack.

00:04:25

We are so afraid of being judged

00:04:28

that we prefer to polish our image just in case

00:04:32

we tell ourselves if the other person knows I have an excuse,

00:04:35

they will be less angry with me,

00:04:37

so we say yes,

00:04:38

but you understand it's because.

00:04:41

You may find yourself faced with a colleague

00:04:44

who spends more time justifying why they didn't

00:04:47

achieve their goals than suggesting alternatives to make

00:04:50

up for this delay that's affecting you.

00:04:53

Imagine for a moment you come late to a meeting and start telling everyone that

00:04:56

there was traffic jams and that the meeting room was hard to find and that,

00:05:00

etc.

00:05:01

etc.

00:05:02

The saying goes,

00:05:03

he who excuses himself blames himself.

00:05:07

Careful.

00:05:08

There is a difference between justifying and explaining.

00:05:12

When I justify myself,

00:05:14

I am centered on myself and my image.

00:05:17

When I give explanations,

00:05:19

I am centered on the other person and their needs.

00:05:23

Do others need to know why I'm late?

00:05:25

Explanations will be better heard and more useful if I

00:05:29

wait for the other person to ask me the question.

00:05:32

If they ask me what happened,

00:05:34

why are you late,

00:05:36

or why didn't you achieve your goals,

00:05:38

it means they are open to hearing my explanations.

00:05:42

The two solutions to get out of the justification.

00:05:45

Wait for the question.

00:05:47

Let the other person be curious and ready to listen to you,

00:05:50

and own it.

00:05:51

Own your actions and mistakes without trying to improve your image.

00:05:55

We have seen the three hindrances to constructive attitude criticism,

00:06:00

confirmation,

00:06:00

and justification.

00:06:02

Let us now tackle the four levers of constructive attitude,

00:06:07

transforming the if into the how,

00:06:10

getting out of the past orientation towards the future,

00:06:14

suggesting rather than criticizing in order to be

00:06:16

the magician that makes possible what seemed impossible.

00:06:21

The first lever consists in transforming the if into the how are we going to.

00:06:27

Instead of saying it would be easier if we had more time,

00:06:31

if we had more resources,

00:06:32

more support,

00:06:33

more listening,

00:06:34

you are expected to say how are we going to do

00:06:37

the best we can within the deadline with the available resources.

00:06:42

The second lever,

00:06:43

as we have already discussed,

00:06:45

is to transform criticism into a force for suggestion.

00:06:50

Instead of saying to your employee or boss,

00:06:53

I don't understand anything you're telling me,

00:06:56

be able to express,

00:06:57

I need you to clarify this or that point.

00:07:01

Instead of saying we didn't succeed because

00:07:04

or it will never work because be capable of saying this is what I suggest,

00:07:10

this is how we could do it,

00:07:11

this is what we're going to attempt.

00:07:14

3.

00:07:15

The third lever is to change directions from the past to the future.

00:07:20

Instead of focusing on the past,

00:07:23

help your colleagues and clients focus on the future.

00:07:26

Analyzing the past

00:07:28

helps us to capitalize by reproducing what has

00:07:31

already worked and changing what didn't work.

00:07:34

The analysis of the past has only added value in building the future.

00:07:39

Getting stuck and dwelling on the past

00:07:41

is a waste of time and energy.

00:07:43

A positive employee must help their colleagues come out of

00:07:47

it was better before or it didn't work before,

00:07:51

so it won't work again,

00:07:53

so they can focus on tomorrow.

00:07:55

In fact,

00:07:56

a constructive employee is able to turn the impossible into the possible.

00:08:02

Do you know the 3000 m steeplechase?

00:08:05

It's a jumping course.

00:08:07

Behind one of the obstacles is a water pit.

00:08:10

That at best can slow down the runner and at worst make them stumble.

00:08:16

Do you know what is best to do?

00:08:18

They lean on the obstacle to go further.

00:08:21

Your obstacle is a lack of resources,

00:08:24

a difficult colleague,

00:08:25

a dissatisfied client.

00:08:27

Lean on it.

00:08:28

In short,

00:08:29

obstacles are opportunities for you to grow in your job

00:08:33

by not giving up when faced with them,

00:08:35

but rather leaning on it on the obstacle in order to go further.

00:08:40

They didn't know it was impossible,

00:08:42

so they did it,

00:08:43

said Mark Twain.

Mandarine AI: WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW