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is a common expression behind which numerous feelings are hidden.
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Here is an invitation.
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The next time you feel stressed,
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to choose the right word to describe
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what you're feeling inside your emotional state.
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An invitation to be aware of what you are going through inside
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and the signal that this feeling is sending you.
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We will explore in this video 1,
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the emotions behind the stress,
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how to name the emotions in nonviolent communication,
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the case of stress without the presence of emotions.
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The emotions behind stress.
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Let's start by simply defining what an internal state is,
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a word borrowed from personal development
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and more particularly from NLP,
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neurolinguistic programming.
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This is the state,
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the inner feeling
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that you are in at any given time.
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What is your internal state as you watch this video?
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Are you focused,
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when you feel stressed,
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to take the time to put the right word on your internal
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state to be more aware of what you are going through.
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The word stressed is a common word that hides dozens of internal states behind.
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You are stressed.
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Are you rather irritated,
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What do you feel exactly?
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Your internal states are signals,
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irritation stress and anxiety stress do not carry the same message
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and require a different take in hand from yourself and from those around you.
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The word stress seems to be one.
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The few words accepted in business to speak of negative emotions and malaise,
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it is necessary to open the box of your stress
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and know in what color and what form it manifests itself
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rather than being left in the confusion of an all-purpose word.
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Are you saying you're stressed out?
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What is your internal state?
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What is your emotion behind
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the mask of stress?
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emotions and nonviolent communication.
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One of the five pillars of nonviolent communication
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is how to express one's internal states.
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Negative internal states are due to unmet needs.
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Once you put into words your negative emotion,
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you can express it in a dispassionate way.
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I am disappointed.
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I am intimidated.
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I am discouraged.
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You have become your observer,
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the observer of the part of you
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To name our emotion is therefore to connect with a part of us that is larger,
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unaffected by emotion.
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connected to the master,
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to the self heart,
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to the higher self,
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and clear with your emotions,
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you can express your needs.
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Express the need behind the emotion.
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Naming the emotion is therefore the first step
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before discerning the need and finding the solution.
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in this stage of awareness and nominalization of emotion,
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there are pitfalls.
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Beware of masked judgments and interpretations that can
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hide behind poorly chosen words of emotions.
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If you say I feel cheated or humiliated or neglected or betrayed or accused,
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you are not expressing an emotion.
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You are expressing an interpretation,
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about someone who has cheated or humiliated you
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or neglected or betrayed or accused you.
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It doesn't sound like much,
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but these so-called emotions are not emotions.
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Your unemotional inner being would never offer these words.
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Your mind that seeks to defend itself and find the culprits,
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don't stop there
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because by focusing on these so-called emotions you will be
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at a dead end in the next stages of resolution.
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you are positioning yourself as a helpless victim,
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if you say you feel cheated,
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the solution is for the other person to change,
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If you say that you feel humiliated,
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the solution is for the other person to change,
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Same fight if you say you feel neglected or betrayed or accused.
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I am not saying that changing the other person is not desirable.
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I invite you to go and find the real emotions you are experiencing and express them,
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emotions for which you take full responsibility.
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No one is inside your body to generate your tears or a rush of adrenaline or cortisol.
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Your emotions belong to you.
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You are 100% responsible for them.
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Naming real emotions rather than feelings entangled
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with judgment will one,
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help find the real need.
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be understandable by the person with whom the relationship is a source of tension.
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You will be able to do nonviolent communication.
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facilitate the search for solutions.
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Third point of the video
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being stressed without emotions,
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if you think you are stressed without experience any emotion,
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it is simply that you no longer have access
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to the emotional feeling that is very present.
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Being aware of what you are going through inside
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will be a huge step towards managing your stress.
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If you are perplexed by the word emotion.
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If you no longer hear any emotional signals,
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it is only because experiences,
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or culture have censored them.
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This can be called emotional repression.
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No right to be afraid or to get angry or to be sad.
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Successful emotional repression
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makes people impervious to emotions,
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their own and those of others.
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Sometimes the emotions will end up resurfacing excessively
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because their intensity can no longer be controlled.
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You will have in front of you a person who is never angry,
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who represses their anger,
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and who will suddenly express their rage.
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You will have a being who is never sad,
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who represses its sadness,
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and who will fall into depression.
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You will have a being that is never afraid,
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who suppresses its fear,
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and who will become paranoid.
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If you say that you are perfectly in control
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of your emotions because you are a rational being
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who does not let yourself be overwhelmed by emotional passions,
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you are probably just an emotion censor,
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someone who has controlled them so much
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so that they took another mask to make themselves heard.
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Stress will therefore manifest itself in another way
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through unadjusted behavior or through the body.
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will unleash the stress alarm bells through tension,
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The problem with expressing stress
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only through body pains is that we are tempted
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to heal the body with chemistry or other therapies.
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We cure the ailments,
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or rather we put bandages on the ailments and nothing is solved.
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The source of stress continues to plague us.
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To understand the source of our physical pains,
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it will be necessary to trace the thread of its tensions.
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Naming the emotions will often be an essential step.
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Being able to say,
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I am angry or sad or anxious will bring clarity and allow you
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to continue the path of resolving the source of the stress.
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