Expressing our difficulties Tutorial

Feeling overwhelmed at work? Discover how to identify stress signals and break the silence in "Expressing Our Difficulties." This insightful video explores the importance of communicating your challenges and taking charge of your well-being. Learn practical strategies to express your difficulties effectively and seek help. Don't let stress spiral into burnout; it's time to share and take action!

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to be constantly stressed at work.
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The observation of permanent stress requires work on yourself,
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but of course,
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also when possible intervention from your superiors.
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Nowadays,
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companies are extremely aware of psychosocial risks known as PSR.
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And are increasingly training their managers to take them into account.
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The first step,
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however,
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remains personal responsibility,
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sharing our difficulties with the relevant and competent people.
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In this video,
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we will see how to listen to stress signals,
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how to break out of silence and intelligently express our difficulties.
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According to INRS,
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psychosocial risks result in stress,
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unease at work,
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and a feeling of professional exhaustion which can lead to burnout,
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mental or physical suffering.
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Do you feel like you can't do your job properly,
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that you don't have enough time to do everything,
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that you are less focused,
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you close in on yourself,
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you are exhausted,
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you sleep badly because of work.
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Don't wait for the situation to get worse.
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Talk it over,
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suggests the National Agency for the Improvement of working conditions.
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Listening with kindness to the signals that our body sends us is the
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First step towards awareness.
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You will find on the internet the steps to be
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taken in case you suspect psychosocial risks with the hierarchy,
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HR departments,
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colleagues,
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occupational therapists,
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and staff representatives.
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They all have leeway in helping you.
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The signals can come from the body.
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chronic fatigue,
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exhaustion,
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back pain,
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stomach pain.
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Signals can come from.
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Hypersensitivity
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that makes you more hot tempered or anxious or prone to tears.
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The signals can come from the mind.
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You can't get your mind off problems which you ruminate over and over.
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You think about work 24 hours a day.
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Nothing interests you anymore.
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Do not take these signals lightly.
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Be aware of what is going on inside you.
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On a scale of 1 to 10.
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How would you rate your physical well-being at work
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on a scale of 1 to 10?
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Can you estimate the level of stress and fatigue at work?
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I help my coaches become aware of their feelings,
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to put their feelings,
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their difficulties into words.
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However,
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after that's done,
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50% of the time I see my coaches trying to ignore these signals,
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these difficulties.
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We feel uneasy about a project,
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or worse,
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we feel constant uneasiness at work,
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and we prefer to ignore it,
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least keep quiet about it.
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48% of people who admit to being stressed choose to pretend nothing has happened.
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One of my missions as a coach
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is to get the coachy out of the inertia by putting their discomfort under a rug.
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I help them take action,
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act on them,
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act on their environment.
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Solving the problem
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often requires talking,
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expressing the difficulties encountered to the right people.
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This is the subject of this video,
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so I will focus on that.
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When they understand that it is
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necessary to express the difficulties encountered,
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the coach he often comes up against a second obstacle,
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the little voice in their mind trying to dissuade them from speaking.
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Here are the four main objections to keep the coachee in silence.
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I have already tried.
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It will not help.
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It's not that important,
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and it will be worse.
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The first objection I have already tried to speak.
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Very good.
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Great.
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If that hasn't changed anything,
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then the speaking strategy needs to be reviewed.
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Construct your speech differently.
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Duplicate the words spoken with sending an email.
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Make a clearer request.
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Go see other people,
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or simply insist.
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Saying once is often not enough to make things happen.
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The second objection,
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it won't do any good to talk.
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How do you know?
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Just because you or others have tried without
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success doesn't mean it will never work.
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Things can change.
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Everything can change.
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In any case,
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things will change more easily if we express
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the difficulties rather than if we keep silent.
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Usually at this stage,
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the coach he continues to resist and may even
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retreat and says my situation's not that bad.
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What you feel bad at work.
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You're uncomfortable on the project.
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You have a bad relationship with your boss,
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and you find that's not important,
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that
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that's not worth talking about to dispel the problem.
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Do you think it's normal to be stressed at work?
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Of course there may not have been a life or death situation.
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We can always find someone more unhappy than ourselves.
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However,
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you have the responsibility to do everything to take care of yourself.
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Who will take care of you if you don't?
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And taking care of yourself
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starts with telling people
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about what's difficult for you.
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Here is the final objection.
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It will be worse
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because talking,
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expressing your difficulties is so scary.
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I'm not going to be able to express myself well.
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I don't want to hurt the other person.
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My colleagues are going to give me a hard time.
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I risk being frowned upon by the hierarchy.
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To get out of this deadlock of if I speak it might be worse,
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two solutions.
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Either the coachee admits that the disaster scenario they imagine is not probable.
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No,
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just saying no to my boss doesn't mean I will be hated or fired.
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Or the coach he succeeds in imagining these disaster
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scenarios without being afraid of them any more.
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Scenario one,
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I am ready for the client to call my line manager to complain.
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Scenario two.
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I am ready for my colleague to refuse to talk to me for a month.
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Scenario 3,
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I am ready for HR to reject my demands several times.
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When our fear no longer manipulates us,
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we become free.
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We become free to express difficulties and problems repeatedly if necessary.
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It takes courage and self-love to express our difficulties.
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Expressing our difficulties and or asking for help
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requires daring to be weak and fragile in front of others,
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being kind to yourself without feeling guilty about having difficulties,
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being ready
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to accept the reactions of those who will not want to hear from you.
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Trusting others enough to believe that some of them
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can be of real moral and concrete support to you
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when you have shattered all the false good reasons to shut up,
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then you are ready to step 3
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speaking up.
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If you want to be heard by those around you when you express your difficulties,
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you should intelligently shape your speech.
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One,
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be specific about the facts.
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2,
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have as much evidence as possible,
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emails,
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for example,
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to support these facts.
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3,
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avoid accusing and passing judgment on people.
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4,
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ask for concrete help,
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and 5,
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suggest solutions.
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You can refer to the videos on
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nonviolent communication and the art of negative feedback
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to anchor the right attitude to adopt.
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For now,
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here are 3 sentence structures that I suggest to you
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depending on the magnitude of the difficulty you are having
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and your stress level.
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At a high level of stress,
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I feel bad,
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this is what's difficult.
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I feel bad about the collaboration with Colette.
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Here's what difficult.
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There is always tension and aggression in our relationship.
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I feel bad since the reorganization of work.
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Here is what's difficult.
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I do not find any sense or motivation any more on the current projects.
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Another level of difficulty expression.
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I can't make it.
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Here's what I need.
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You have given me a new client.
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I can't make it.
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I need you to advise me on how to handle its requirements.
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I have to fill in 10 files per day.
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I can't do it.
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I need to review the methodology and the time frame necessary to complete each step.
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The last level of expression of difficulty speaking before stress overwhelms us.
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This does not suit me.
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Here is what I suggest.
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You told me with a smirk in the
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meeting that my participatory management does not work.
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It does not suit me.
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I suggest
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that we meet for an individual interview
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and that we address one by one the concrete points
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of your dissatisfaction with the work of the team.
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You tell me that I have to take up
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the work of my colleague on sick leave.
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That does not suit me.
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I propose to go over these 3 files
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and make an update in a week to see if it is tenable for me.
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Do you want to avoid the psychosocial risks known as PSR?
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Listen to stress signals first.
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Then,
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once you are clear on the cause of your stress,
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do not let yourself endure it.
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Break the silence and intelligently express your difficulties and
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your requests to the concerned and competent people.

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