00:00:08
welcoming emotions,
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cultivating positive emotional states,
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accepting that positive or negative emotions are unique to humans,
00:00:18
prioritizing decision making
00:00:21
and action in a positive internal state.
00:00:24
And finally developing practical means to stop
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negative states and initiate positive states,
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we will describe these five strategies,
00:00:34
and then I will suggest the three key steps
00:00:37
to deal with negative internal states strategy 1,
00:00:42
welcoming emotions.
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Although we may not be able to choose when our emotions flare up,
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we can welcome them,
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understand them,
00:00:50
and have control over their duration.
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The ability to quickly return to normal after an outburst
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is a sign of emotional maturity or emotional intelligence.
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We will always have moments of anger or sadness,
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moments of stress.
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Behind these emotions are needs.
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It is difficult to generalize,
00:01:17
that behind fear often lies a need for security,
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a need to develop confidence in oneself and one's environment.
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Behind sadness there often lies a need to say goodbye to something you loved,
00:01:33
a need to mourn.
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But also the need for a positive connection with
00:01:37
others as well as motivating and dynamic activities.
00:01:42
Behind anger is often a need to restore justice,
00:01:46
to be heard in one's yes and no,
00:01:50
to be respected and to set limits.
00:01:53
What can change your life are your reactions after a negative emotion has shown up.
00:01:59
What do you do with your anxiety,
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or your sadness?
00:02:04
Do you put them in an opaque bag called stress?
00:02:08
A bag which will fill up with every difficult event and every
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rehashed thought while waiting for time and the holidays to empty it?
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Or do you decide to take the signal and act on your surroundings if possible,
00:02:24
and on yourself?
00:02:26
If when you return from
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The fatigue has not completely subsided,
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and the same stress takes over after a few days.
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Then there is something to change in your life.
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cultivate positive emotional states.
00:02:42
Give priority to the joy of living in all circumstances.
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You can cultivate inner positive states even in difficult times.
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Some overwhelming testimonies from people in concentration camps bear
00:02:57
witness to this incredible capacity for humans to develop joy
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even in extremely oppressive and stressful situations.
00:03:07
When we cultivate positive internal states,
00:03:11
Different solutions to show creativity,
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motivation and success.
00:03:19
we are much more capable of solving a so-called stressful problem
00:03:25
when we approach it in a positive and constructive state of mind
00:03:29
than when we are under stress in negative internal states.
00:03:36
accepting that positive or negative emotions are unique to humans.
00:03:41
Being in high or low emotional state is part of human nature,
00:03:46
part of the cycles of life.
00:03:49
So welcoming emotions before they swell and explode like a volcano is essential.
00:03:55
Regarding my irritation,
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it is important to express it,
00:04:01
we'll see that later.
00:04:04
for the fear in which I can be,
00:04:06
it is important to express it
00:04:08
and the sadness as well.
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Welcoming and letting emotions express themselves whatever they
00:04:15
are is part of the human balance.
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Pascal Bruckner,
00:04:21
says in his book
00:04:22
Perpetual euphoria on the duty to be happy.
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We are the first society in history to make people unhappy.
00:04:30
For not being happy,
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being in a high or low emotional state is part of human nature of the cycle of life.
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Let's not feel guilty about it.
00:04:42
Let's not be depressed for not always being in a good mood
00:04:46
with a smile on our face and a positive thinking mindset.
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We have the right to be in a bad mood.
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It's natural and even healthy.
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if negative emotions last and set in,
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it's necessary to act.
00:05:05
rather make decisions when you are in a positive emotional state.
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Many decisions are taken in a negative internal state under stress.
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We are in too much of a hurry,
00:05:19
We haven't taken time to think carefully,
00:05:22
to go around the options and listen to each other,
00:05:25
and immersed in this stress,
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we speak or act,
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which leads to more problems than successes before
00:05:33
sending your inflammatory email to your colleague,
00:05:37
find a positive internal state.
00:05:39
Don't act or take any decision with panic.
00:05:42
Negative emotion blurs our understanding.
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Write your email if you need to let off steam.
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Then wait until you are calm.
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Reread your email,
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and eventually send it or don't.
00:05:59
developing practical means to initiate our positive
00:06:02
states and stop our negative states.
00:06:06
It's about creating new habits by
00:06:08
identifying what stimulates so-called pleasant internal states
00:06:13
so that we can get our brains used to
00:06:16
connecting more and more often to positive states.
00:06:21
Sometimes a good night's sleep will bring you back to a positive state of mind,
00:06:26
sometimes a bit of sport.
00:06:28
A positive memory that you connect with.
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A phone call to a friend.
00:06:32
It's up to you to find your own levers.
00:06:37
not to seek to be in a permanent state of grace.
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Happiness is not a matter of intensity,
00:06:43
but of refinement.
00:06:45
Refinement is discovering the simple joy of seeing a
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child eating a good meal or smelling a rose.
00:06:55
I will say that we will always have moments of shadow and light of yin and yang.
00:07:02
When I am in a negative internal state.
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How do I move forward?
00:07:10
I have the right to be in a negative internal state.
00:07:15
Put a word on your feeling.
00:07:17
Is it discouragement,
00:07:21
This internal state is a signal,
00:07:24
a message to be accepted
00:07:26
so that it is heard
00:07:28
and brings a positive change in my life.
00:07:32
to love myself unconditionally in this very negative state
00:07:36
and to take care of myself,
00:07:38
to appease myself.
00:07:42
clarify by 3 questions.
00:07:46
What is the trigger for my negative internal state?
00:07:50
Find the precise facts,
00:07:52
the stress triggers.
00:07:55
Why does it make me angry,
00:07:59
This question helps to take a step back
00:08:02
and to demerge from the emotion.
00:08:04
It is wrong to say I am angry.
00:08:13
is not reduced to an emotional state to a feeling.
00:08:18
What is true is I feel anger.
00:08:25
And I am bigger than what I feel.
00:08:28
That's why I can welcome these feelings and decide consciously how to act.
00:08:36
What are my unmet needs that cause this stress?
00:08:41
The 3rd stage in the face of a negative internal state
00:08:46
establishing a strategy and acting.
00:08:49
Can I satisfy my need?
00:08:52
The solution may be to set limits,
00:08:54
to take a day off,
00:08:56
take care of myself,
00:08:58
allow me to cry,
00:09:00
talk to my boss,
00:09:01
look for another job.
00:09:04
we've just explored three steps to deal with negative emotions,
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