Naomi's Limits Tutorial

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Available in SoftSkills

00:00:03

Naomi repeated to her coach.

00:00:05

When I say yes,

00:00:06

it's because I really want to.

00:00:09

Indeed,

00:00:10

Naomi sometimes knew how to say no with conviction.

00:00:13

Her inability to refuse certain requests and to establish boundaries

00:00:17

did not stem from an excessive need to be liked,

00:00:20

a fear of hurting others,

00:00:22

or a lack of assertiveness.

00:00:24

In reality,

00:00:25

her difficulties in setting boundaries mainly came from a lack of communication,

00:00:29

insufficient organization,

00:00:31

and an undefined personal space.

00:00:34

Firstly,

00:00:35

Naomi tended to accept requests without clarifying the details.

00:00:39

She agreed quickly without asking preliminary questions.

00:00:43

When she acquiesced,

00:00:44

she didn't always fully understand what was being asked of her,

00:00:47

whether she had the necessary skills or how much time it would take.

00:00:52

It was crucial for her to learn to ask

00:00:54

for clarifications about her superiors or colleagues' expectations.

00:00:58

This would not only help her better understand the request,

00:01:01

but also assess if she was capable of fulfilling it.

00:01:04

And if it was part of her responsibilities.

00:01:07

Next,

00:01:08

Naomi had not defined her own priorities.

00:01:11

She often found herself managing others' priorities,

00:01:14

putting aside her own tasks without mentioning her time constraints.

00:01:18

Driven by idealism,

00:01:20

she equated team spirits and commitment with

00:01:22

being constantly available for others' projects.

00:01:26

She thought she was acting out of commitment and solidarity

00:01:29

when in reality she was spreading herself thin

00:01:32

and losing sight of her personal goals.

00:01:35

Finally,

00:01:36

Naomi struggled to maintain her individuality and define her personal space.

00:01:42

When interacting with others,

00:01:43

she showed such intense empathy that she forgot her own needs and physical limits.

00:01:49

Instead of preserving two distinct spaces during communication,

00:01:53

hers and the others,

00:01:55

she completely merged with the interlocutor.

00:01:58

It was not uncommon to hear her say,

00:02:00

Your problem is my problem.

00:02:02

When Naomi became aware of these three barriers,

00:02:06

she quickly experienced a real transformation.

00:02:09

She learned to set healthy boundaries and say no at the right time.

Mandarine AI: WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW