Paula and Steve Step Out of the Drama Triangle Tutorial

Curious about how to transform workplace conflicts into collaboration? In "Paula and Steve Step Out of the Drama Triangle," discover how coaching unveils the destructive roles we play in conflicts and empowers you to take responsibility. Learn the magic of shifting perspectives to foster assertiveness and courage for real resolutions. Don’t miss out on their powerful journey!

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the two project managers for Ramsar,

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are at odds.

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Their technical skills are undeniable,

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but their conflict affects the team.

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Therefore,

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the company has opted to offer them coaching.

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In their first meeting.

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Wendy,

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the coach,

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explains the Cartman drama triangle,

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which describes the rotating roles of victim,

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savior,

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and persecutor

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that each person associates with in conflictual interactions.

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She asks them to identify themselves and to position the other in this scheme.

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like in 90% of the cases in her long coaching career,

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Wendy notices that Paula and Steve consider themselves victims

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and point to the other as the persecutor.

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Wendy knows that before resolving the conflict she must

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help them step out of these toxic roles.

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They need to stop seeing themselves as victims or blaming the other

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and realize that blaming others is also an act of aggression.

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They must understand that every victim is a potential aggressor and vice versa,

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and that it is not the coach's or manager's role to save them.

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Once they leave these destructive roles,

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they will stop wanting to change the other

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and take joint responsibility for the situation.

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Only then can Paula and Steve truly resolve the problem.

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Wendy knows the magic of this moment of realization.

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Indeed,

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solutions became clear to Paula and Steve once

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they stepped out of this vicious circle.

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They understood that positioning themselves as victims kept

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them in a toxic dead-end relational game.

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They realized that rather than hoping the other would change,

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they needed to question what they could change themselves.

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They accepted to be 100% responsible for the situation between them.

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Once they reached this stage,

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the conflict was resolved in a flash.

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Solutions to establish a healthy collaboration between

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them appeared as if by magic.

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Paula and Steve will always remember their coach Wendy's last nugget of wisdom.

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A victim is someone who thinks others must change to feel good

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and surprisingly,

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the persecutor thinks exactly the same thing.

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