Preparing to address a contentious topic Tutorial

Navigating tough conversations can be challenging. In "Preparing to Address a Contentious Topic", discover 5 key questions that will transform your approach to conflict resolution. From understanding the facts to managing your emotions, this video equips you with essential strategies for effective communication and relationships. Don't miss out on these valuable insights!

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How do you prepare to address this contentious topic

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so that the discussion can run smoothly and the dispute can be resolved?

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Preparing yourself mentally and emotionally is the key.

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In this video,

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I suggest 5 questions that will make all the difference.

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5 questions to ask yourself before talking to your coworker.

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First question to ask yourself,

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what are the facts that represent a problem for me?

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Describe the facts without including your opinions,

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interpretations,

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or generalisations.

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You can use the acronym

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HWW

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www.

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How,

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who,

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what,

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how much,

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where,

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when,

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why.

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Be as accurate as possible.

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Andy is always late is not a fact.

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Andy has been late 20 minutes 3 times this week is a fact.

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But is that really the problem?

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Isn't it rather that I waited 20 minutes

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for Andy this morning for an important appointment?

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Yes,

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it might sound harmless,

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but saying that the problem is that Andy was 20 minutes late

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is not the same as saying that the problem was that you waited 20 minutes.

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The perspective is not the same,

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and the solution will probably be different.

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So,

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first question,

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what is the fact that you really have a problem with?

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Second question,

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what does this trigger in me in terms of emotion?

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You're worried that you won't have enough time to deal with everything in a meeting.

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You're disappointed and saddened

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to think that Andy doesn't value your expectations.

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You are angry that you wasted your time.

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What do these facts,

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waiting 20 minutes for Andy,

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create in me?

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Third question.

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How can I return to a positive emotional state

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before approaching Andy

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to manage the dispute with him in the best way?

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Your negative emotion clouds your judgement and

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prevents you from finding options for resolution.

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Avoid

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resolving a conflict as much as possible if you are in a negative emotional state.

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First,

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find a strategy to restore your balance.

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Sleep on it,

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work out,

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talk to a friend,

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entertain yourself,

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change your perception.

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Any means are good to regain your adult emotional control.

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Fourth question.

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How does the other person experience the conflict

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after regaining control over your emotions?

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Take a step back and try to put yourself in the other person's shoes.

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How do they see the facts?

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What are their emotions?

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What are their needs?

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What are their capacities for change?

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If this seems too difficult because you are full of resentment,

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ask a neutral third party to help you

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to see the world through the other person's eyes,

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to help you to open to their vision,

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experiences,

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and arguments.

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5th question.

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What are the three solutions I see for this dispute?

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Have at least one solution that depends only on

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you and requires no action from the other person.

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This is the solution you will keep if no mediation is possible with your coworker

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and have two other solutions that you can suggest to the other person.

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If you go up to the other person thinking there is only one possible option.

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Then you need to start again and go back to the previous 5 questions.

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Trying to resolve a conflict with only one resolution option in mind

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is the quickest way to turn the conflict into a dead end.

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So here are 5 questions to ask yourself.

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Before resolving a conflict,

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what are the facts I really have a problem with?

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What does this trigger in me emotionally?

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How can I get back to a positive emotional state?

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and how does the other person experience the conflict?

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