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Talking to clean up the situation and find solutions together,
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but how can we express ourselves when the relationship has already been disrupted?
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How can we encourage sharing
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when grievances and tensions are palpable?
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I suggest 4 tips to give you the best
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chances to reach a satisfactory solution for all.
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Four tips to avoid sinking into the dead end of conflict,
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defining the rules,
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listening with empathy,
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opening up to the other person and being solution oriented.
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First tip define the rules.
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Often defined and controlled by the mediator,
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the rules are there to support the conflict resolution process.
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They take on a different aspect
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depending on situations and people.
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Here are some examples.
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Example one of rules,
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preserving the relationship at all costs.
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While following this rule,
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it may be advisable to refrain from unilaterally
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leaving the meeting until a solution is found.
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This rule is often implicit in conflicts at work because we cannot exchange
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our colleagues and we will keep coming across them on a daily basis.
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It is interesting to verbalize this rule,
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preserving the relationship at all costs to find out if it is shared by both parties.
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Example two of rules seek a solution all the way through.
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Are you sufficiently motivated and involved in the search for a solution
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to the point of having several meetings or involving a third party?
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are you ready to continue the discussion in one
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or more meetings until we find a solution?
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Example 3 of rules refusing all forms of violence.
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Do you agree to enter into a discussion without insults,
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without threats,
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The more explicit and shared the rules are,
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the less likely it is to get out of hand.
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if there is one,
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will be able to remind you of the rules when necessary.
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Second key while sharing,
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listening with empathy,
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being open to the other person,
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that's why you need to be emotionally stable.
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If you have chosen listening and self empathy beforehand,
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you will arrive at the meeting with the ability to welcome the other person
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even if they couldn't find the same emotional control and perspective as you.
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Listening to the other person with empathy will
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enable you to genuinely seek to understand them better
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without judging them.
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You will be able to remain calm if tensions rise again within you or within the other.
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You will be able to breathe deeply,
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to rest your voice,
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to shorten the meeting if you feel that you or the other person needs a break.
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you will know how to use all the tools of active listening,
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questioning and.
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raising and you will lead the way so that the other person can also listen
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to you in return when they have regained a state of relaxation and openness.
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They will let go of their shield,
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armor and weapons more easily
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that you are not attacking or complaining,
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if you are in an attitude of listening and construction.
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But don't forget,
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listening to the other with empathy goes hand in hand with listening
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to yourself with empathy by formulating your feelings and your desires.
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opening up to the other person.
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If you trust yourself,
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you have no reason to get into domination games or to hide.
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There are some attitudes that can make conflict resolution easier,
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genuinely taking into account the emotion of the other.
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I'm sorry that my words that this situation has caused you anxiety,
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Opening up about your emotions and the behavioral impacts of those emotions,
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I did this because I felt like this at that moment,
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synchronizing with the other,
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adapting to the rhythm,
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the gestures of the other without mocking them,
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verbalizing your own change of.
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Perspective during the interview.
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now that you're explaining that,
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I understand better,
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and I admit I misinterpreted your words and acts.
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This openness to the other person,
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for which I have given you four concrete examples,
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is a very powerful accelerator of conflict resolution.
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The 4th tip while sharing to be solution oriented.
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that the objective of the meeting is to find short term and long-term solutions.
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Looking for the short term solution,
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how are you going to get out of the conflict now?
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Looking for the long term solution,
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what will you do if the situation happens again
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on a basis of openness and respect for each other,
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you can debate by arguing,
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You can look for the common ground with the other one,
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suggest options,
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scrutinizing them,
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and eventually find a consensus.
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The purpose of the conflict resolution meeting
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is not at all to find out who is right and who is wrong,
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who is at fault,
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or who is the victim.
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Our mind tends to pursue this black and white objective
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which locks us in and buries us in conflict.
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It doesn't matter if you both hold different views about the past.
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Don't try to reconcile your perceptions of what happened.
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The important thing is that you agree on what to do now
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and how to operate tomorrow.
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Are you trying to resolve a conflict in an adult to adult discussion?
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Be clear about the rules.
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Show empathy and self- empathy.
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Open up to the other person and stay solution oriented at all costs.
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