00:00:07
They gauge and judge themselves all the time.
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They like to define themselves to try to answer the question,
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I am 50 years old and I am a successful and generous man.
00:00:22
What I think and say about myself will set the basis of my self-esteem.
00:00:29
how we define ourselves through mirrors,
00:00:31
how we value ourselves.
00:00:33
Then I will give you three tips on how to improve your self-esteem mechanisms.
00:00:38
In order to define themselves,
00:00:40
to know who they are,
00:00:42
humans need mirrors,
00:00:44
either themselves or other people.
00:00:47
Humans are above all their own mirrors.
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an aspect of themselves that observes itself at all times.
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This aspect is sometimes indulgent.
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I'm a really good person.
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I'm good looking,
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our internal mirror can be very accusatory.
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It's like some kind of internal police here to tarnish our image.
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not smart enough,
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not as good looking as my neighbor.
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our mind is our judge.
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It rates us according to its own mood and standards,
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very subjective,
00:01:25
except that we actually believe it.
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Believe in it when it tells us that we're talented
00:01:32
has a positive effect on our emotions and self-confidence.
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Believe in it when it downgrades us hurts us,
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which contributes to failure.
00:01:42
Humans sometimes grant to others the power to be their mirrors.
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They let others define who they are,
00:01:49
define their worth.
00:01:51
During childhood,
00:01:53
the very first mirrors of our worth are relatives,
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When my parents say that they love me,
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when they take me in their arms,
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when they support me and tell me that I'm set for success,
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it feels a positive image of myself.
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When my teacher gives me a bad grade in class or punishes me,
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I'm going to start believing that I'm not that great.
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The child would absorb words,
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and perspectives,
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and then build a more or less positive image of themselves.
00:02:26
who decides my worth?
00:02:28
Which mirror do I believe in?
00:02:33
Who decides if I am mediocre,
00:02:44
this is the main question.
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Who gives the grades?
00:02:47
Who do I allow to rate me?
00:02:51
this is not the real question.
00:02:53
The real question is why do I even allow anyone to rate me?
00:02:58
Be it myself or somebody else.
00:03:01
Self-esteem is the value I give to myself.
00:03:05
If I believe that I have value,
00:03:07
then I will dare to speak and act in the world
00:03:11
without being scared of failing.
00:03:13
I will have self-confidence.
00:03:16
We saw that essentially no one has the right to rate us,
00:03:20
neither others nor our very limited self,
00:03:24
which yearns for perfection and can sometimes be a harsher judge than our peers.
00:03:29
So another alternative,
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can we measure our worth according to our achievements,
00:03:36
according to our successful actions,
00:03:38
or according to our IQ or lineage?
00:03:43
our worth is inherent.
00:03:48
no action is necessary to grant us infinite worth.
00:03:53
The mere fact of being a human
00:03:56
is enough to establish our worth.
00:04:03
No need to achieve anything,
00:04:08
We are infinitely precious since our very first moment,
00:04:13
just like any newborn
00:04:14
who is loved and respected without having to prove anything.
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Nobody says to the baby,
00:04:22
I don't know what you're going to do with your life yet,
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so I'll wait and see before I tell you if you have any value.
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the layers and layers of judgments of value that the child will receive
00:04:35
for years will often get the better of the huge and unconditional worth
00:04:41
initially granted to them at birth.
00:04:43
Yet what a wonder a newborn is.
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It is almost as if we are born with a worth gauge filled up to 100%.
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Since I was born with a 100% worth gauge,
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why did it start dropping?
00:04:59
Why is it that every time it drops,
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I need to find words,
00:05:05
to restore my self-esteem gauge again?
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Because I want to prevent it at all costs from running out.
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A value at zero,
00:05:14
it's depression.
00:05:15
Most of us are subject to the variability of our self-esteem,
00:05:19
and that is how our self-worth increases and drops each day,
00:05:26
Every time we get a compliment or congratulate ourselves,
00:05:30
the cursor of our gauge goes up.
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I'm really honest.
00:05:33
I'm well educated.
00:05:36
And every time we are negatively judged by ourselves or others,
00:05:40
the cursor drops.
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You're so slow you'll never get in there.
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You're so annoying.
00:05:47
How exhausting is this self-esteem back and forth.
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Depending on our sensitivity and how drawn
00:05:54
we are to hearing compliments or devaluations,
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our self-esteem gauge will be either high or low.
00:06:02
Some tend to have a very poor self-image.
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Others are between low and OK,
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others between OK to rather good,
00:06:11
and others regard themselves as great,
00:06:15
Let's put our consciousness at the service of self-esteem.
00:06:19
If you still believe that self-esteem will always
00:06:22
be something that you need to supply,
00:06:24
then I will at least give you a few tips so you can supply it in all awareness.
00:06:33
filter what you receive.
00:06:35
Welcome what feeds your self-esteem and reject virtually all devaluations.
00:06:42
Your friend told you that you were creative internally,
00:06:50
Your boss tells you that you lack perseverance.
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consciously tell yourself,
00:06:58
return to source.
00:06:59
It is not about knowing if your boss was right or wrong.
00:07:03
It is about knowing if this feeds my self-esteem.
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then I do not take it.
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Return to source.
00:07:12
how do you want to be more perseverant if you internally regard the statement?
00:07:17
You lack perseverance as true.
00:07:20
Every time you add criticism to your self-esteem gauge,
00:07:24
you trap yourself,
00:07:26
filter what others tell you as soon as the criticism comes.
00:07:31
No criticism should influence your self-worth gauge,
00:07:38
Criticism belongs to a different world.
00:07:40
It can later be analyzed and made fruitful,
00:07:44
but it has no business entering your self-esteem temple.
00:07:49
When you're looking to analyze other people's criticism,
00:07:53
if it's worth it,
00:07:54
be well aware of the fact that other people's criticism says more about them
00:08:01
You really lack perseverance means
00:08:04
I'd like you to show more perseverance in this specific situation.
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A criticism is a request in disguise.
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It has nothing to do with your worth.
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Do not give anyone the keys to your self-esteem temple.
00:08:19
You alone hold the keys to your self-esteem temple.
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If you let others in.
00:08:26
Giving and taking back bonus points,
00:08:29
you give them the power to define your worth.
00:08:34
You are trapped,
00:08:37
not even your parents or your best friend or your partner,
00:08:42
has the right to decide your worth.
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Do you allow it?
00:08:48
When we were children,
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we didn't have enough perspective to understand this.
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Little by little we let others tell us if we were worthy or not.
00:08:58
We allowed them to rate us,
00:09:00
to tell us we're nice or mean or smart or fit or,
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what do we decide?
00:09:08
Do not give up the commands of your gauge to others.
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It's not up to them to tell you what your worth is.
00:09:15
It's up to you and to you alone to do that.
00:09:19
Can you make the choice of giving yourself worth,
00:09:24
Regardless of what others think,
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regardless of what your mind thinks,
00:09:28
regardless of what you've lived or achieved since you were born,
00:09:33
consciously choose to tell yourself,
00:09:36
I am a person of infinite worth,
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