The stress spiral Tutorial

Feeling drained by stress? Discover how to break free from the stress spiral in 'The Stress Spiral'. This enlightening video guides you through four key intervention levels to transform negative perceptions, emotional states, and behaviors into a virtuous cycle. Learn practical strategies for personal and professional effectiveness that empower you to regain control and thrive!

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to the point that everything becomes more and more difficult.

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We wake up in a bad way,

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and the trials follow one another.

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We start a job with difficulty and the problems pile up.

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How do we get into the vicious cycle of stress and how do we get out of it

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by coming back to the virtuous circle through our action

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on one of the four attachment points of the spiral.

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Our thoughts and perceptions,

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our emotional state,

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our behavior,

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and our feedback on the result obtained.

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Entry point number 1.

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Our thoughts,

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our perceptions.

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It is how we will perceive a situation.

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The perception that I have of myself,

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for example,

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am I competent or am I not up to the task?

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The perception I have of another person?

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Are they not autonomous?

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Are they not creative?

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The perception I have of my mission

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is exciting.

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It's useless or boring.

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The perception of my health,

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of the company.

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What is my perception,

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vision,

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or belief about the event and the environment in which I live,

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or about the person in front of me?

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Imagine that I have the perception that

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the reorganization imposed by the company is unnecessary,

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or

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I'm incompetent in using computers.

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With these perceptions we will enter position two of the stress spiral.

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Our internal states,

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what are the internal states or the feelings which will result from our vision?

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Do you think the reorganization imposed by the company is unnecessary?

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You will probably be angry with every action with which

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you will be asked to do in this regard.

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Do you consider yourself bad at using computers,

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and we ask you to make an Excel table or to download software,

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or even worse,

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your computer seems to be buggy.

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You will probably feel the stress build up quickly.

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You will probably feel increasing irritation or worry

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with these uncomfortable internal states,

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you will enter position 3 of the stress spiral,

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our behavior and attitude.

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What is the behavior,

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actions,

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attitudes,

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strategies that I will develop

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in this negative internal state facing,

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for example,

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the corporate reorganization?

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Chances are you'll resist,

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sigh,

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postpone important tasks,

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or even botch them.

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In this negative internal state facing the computer tasks,

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there is a chance you will not do the right things.

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You're going to make a mistake in your Excel table.

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You will not find the right download platform for the app.

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You will wrongly force your blocked computer to shut down.

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In short,

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your behavior will be inappropriate.

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With this inappropriate behavior,

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you will enter position 4 of the stress spiral.

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What results will I get from my behavior and actions?

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What feedback will my environment send me?

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Your actions or refusal of action to contribute to corporate

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reorganization are likely to cause more harm than good.

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The results will not be up to par.

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The difficulties will accumulate.

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You'll be blamed for it.

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On the IT side,

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the Excel table will probably not be right.

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You will not have downloaded the right software.

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Your download will be infested with spam,

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or even worse,

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you will have lost essential data by forcing your computer to shut down.

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People around you will probably give you negative feedback on

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your ability to handle even the slightest IT difficulty.

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You will feel the victim of the computer world.

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And these negative results and feedback will close

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the loop with an extra power level.

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You will no longer think that corporate reorganization is unnecessary.

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You will think it's harmful.

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You will not think that you are not competent in computers,

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but rather that you are incapable,

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zero,

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ruined.

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And it will only get worse with each unfortunate experience,

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with each new bug,

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with each new turn of the spiral.

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In coaching,

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we talk about self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Your certainty will push reality in your direction.

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If you are certain that you are a zero

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in computer science or being incompetent in public speaking

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or not being able to take on a new project,

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you will develop behavior in this direction

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which will prove to you that you are right

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to profess yourself a zero.

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Cultivating a positive outlook without being naive,

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but at least looking at the positive part of what is

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will fuel a virtuous cycle

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that will keep us out of the spiral of stress.

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The more you act with a positive and

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confident outlook on yourself and your environment,

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the more evidence you will have about it,

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and this evidence will strengthen your initial belief.

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If I have the vision that my manager Jeffrey is a good person.

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If he doesn't say hello to me one morning,

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I'll find a reason that'll save me the judgment and stress.

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I'll tell myself it's because he hasn't seen

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me or he's worried about something else.

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If I now come up with the opposite belief,

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with the vision that my manager Jeffrey is not a good person,

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not OK,

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not correct.

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If he doesn't say hello to me,

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I will reinforce my certainty that he is not right,

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and I won't spontaneously say hello to him.

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I will look at him with even more contempt feeding the spiral.

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I can get to such a level of negativity that if he says hello to me,

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I will find him hypocritical or tell myself he has something to ask of me in return.

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The good news is you can break out of the vicious cycle of stress on your own,

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the vicious circle that you entered on your own.

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And when we enter the spiral of stress,

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we can intervene at all four levels.

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The sooner the better before the vicious circle becomes too difficult to change.

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We can intervene on the way we perceive the situation.

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For example,

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I say to myself,

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Here,

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is there another way to see things?

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Can I stop seeing myself as the victim?

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Can I stop judging myself or others?

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We can intervene on the way of experiencing the situation emotionally.

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Isn't there another way I can feel or experience this situation

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as breathing,

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smiling,

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staying calm,

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getting professional support for managing my emotions.

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We can also intervene on our behavior.

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Is the behavior,

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the attitude I show,

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the strategy that I have ultimately appropriate to the situation?

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Can I change them

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by saying no or by negotiating,

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for example?

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And can I also intervene on the way I receive the feedback,

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the way I handle the results?

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Instead of seeing the result as a failure,

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can I instead learn from it positively

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by asking myself

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what did I learn from this experience?

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If it happens again,

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what will I do identically and what will I do differently?

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One last example

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Imagine a sportsman,

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a tennis player,

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Alan.

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Alan holds a thought such as serving is really my weak point.

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With each new game that he must serve,

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he is stressed with a knot in his stomach.

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As a consequence,

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he controls his stroke less.

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He hits too hard or not hard enough.

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He throws his ball less well.

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His wrist is not firm enough.

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Result,

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he makes a double fault.

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Enhanced perception.

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It is no longer serving as my weak point,

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but really

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I have a problem with my serve,

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and double faults are likely to recur.

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In sports preparation

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we only focused on behavior and feedback with regard to the result.

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This is called training.

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The player who has difficulty on the backhand,

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they repeat

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hundreds of backhands.

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They get feedback from it to improve their skills,

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putting more weight on your right foot,

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bending your knee more.

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Straightening your arm at the end of the stroke.

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Action,

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feedback,

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action,

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feedback.

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Every player realized very quickly

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that in a match situation they could start making unusual mistakes.

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Indeed,

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we observed that sometimes it wasn't the best player who won,

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but the one with a stronger spirit.

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We say that.

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Coaching comes from the world of athletes.

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The coaches understood that there were two steps missing in the spiral of success,

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steps on which we could intervene.

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Improving these two stages,

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the thought stage and the internal state stage,

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is called mental preparation,

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and it's in parallel to physical preparation.

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The higher the stress,

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as in athletic competition,

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the more mental preparation will make the difference.

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The coach will work with their tennis player to cultivate positive thoughts

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and to arrive on the tennis court with a positive internal state,

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in short,

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with a mind of steel.

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The coach will also teach them to give themselves

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corrective feedback for each fault which will walk.

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Towards success instead of telling themselves I am

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terrible or my opponent is too lucky,

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or they will rather say to themselves,

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Next time I will push him to get to the net.

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What is valid in sport is valid in all areas of life,

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whether it's making an omelet or carrying out a professional project.

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In this project,

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in this activity,

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what thoughts do you have?

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Can you change them,

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or at least stop cultivating the negatives?

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What internal states do you have?

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Can you anchor more positive feelings?

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What behavior do you have?

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Can you change it?

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What feedback are you getting on the result?

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Can you make it constructive?

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So here we have 4 levels of intervention in this vicious spiral of stress.

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At each entrance we can take action to gradually replace the vicious circle

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with a virtual spiral of regained energy.

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We can open our thoughts and perceptions,

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transform our emotional state,

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act on our behaviors,

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and adjust the feedback linked to the obtained result.

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