00:00:07
Let's go to part two.
00:00:09
Here are 5 new tips to help you find
00:00:11
more personal satisfaction in a good work-life balance.
00:00:17
how to make choices,
00:00:19
how to take care of yourself,
00:00:21
how to set boundaries and negotiate both at work and at home.
00:00:26
After having assimilated
00:00:30
you have taken a step back from your need to reconcile everything perfectly.
00:00:35
You have chosen to be a free person rather than a man or a woman of duty.
00:00:40
You accept being criticized and you are no longer manipulated by guilt.
00:00:47
The four healthy and stable foundations are laid,
00:00:50
you will finally be able to choose and prioritize.
00:00:55
you have to make choices because you can't do everything and
00:00:59
you can make choices because you are not indispensable.
00:01:03
Set your priorities by fundamentally listening
00:01:06
to your intuition on all the decisions to be made.
00:01:10
Make a realistic list of commitments you will not compromise on your priorities.
00:01:16
If your utmost priority is to be present with your family,
00:01:20
plan it as well as possible,
00:01:22
be aligned and stay in peace while facing the
00:01:26
pressure or reproaches of your colleagues and bosses.
00:01:30
Clearly announce your arrival and departure times to the teams.
00:01:34
Don't bring work home with you and stick to it without
00:01:39
If you feel that today investing in your work
00:01:42
by pushing your career forward is your priority,
00:01:46
Organize it as well as possible,
00:01:49
be clear with your loved ones and live this choice serenely without
00:01:53
giving up because of the pressure of reproaches of your entourage.
00:01:57
Just do your best.
00:01:59
Choosing and prioritizing also means
00:02:02
prioritizing professional files and assignments.
00:02:05
This is the mission I accept.
00:02:07
This is the one I refuse.
00:02:09
This is what I can do between now and tomorrow.
00:02:12
This is what will wait until next week.
00:02:15
It also means prioritizing the family moments and events
00:02:19
in which you really want to be present.
00:02:22
Being there for my daughter's dance recital.
00:02:25
That doesn't mean being present at all her dance classes.
00:02:29
It means prioritizing time for you.
00:02:32
Do you have a painting class every Monday night?
00:02:36
Let your professional and personal environment know
00:02:39
that this is a time when you will not
00:02:41
be available and if you start sacrificing your class,
00:02:47
will deduce that 1,
00:02:49
it's not that important,
00:02:52
it's easy to make you switch to other priorities.
00:02:55
Choosing and prioritizing will push you to delegate.
00:02:59
That's my second piece of advice.
00:03:02
Delegate what you can't or don't want to do anymore.
00:03:05
Delegate to family,
00:03:09
We'll see it in detail later,
00:03:11
but also delegate at work,
00:03:13
especially if you are a manager.
00:03:16
you will have to take risks in trusting employees
00:03:19
with files which will allow them to develop.
00:03:23
Delegate even if the novelty of the file may initially generate mistakes.
00:03:28
Delegating as a leader also sometimes means controlling less or better
00:03:33
by setting up a dashboard and an efficient reporting system,
00:03:38
It is important to know that delegation represents a short-term overload of work
00:03:43
since it requires training and monitoring an employee
00:03:47
until they are autonomous enough for you
00:03:51
In the medium and long term,
00:03:53
you will save a lot of time.
00:03:57
think of yourself.
00:04:00
time for oneself often comes last.
00:04:03
So this video is an opportunity to remind you
00:04:06
of what you already know.
00:04:08
Take time for yourself,
00:04:09
take care of yourself.
00:04:12
Time for social life,
00:04:13
time to go to the movies,
00:04:17
time to play sport.
00:04:24
to reflect or simply to breathe.
00:04:28
Plan your break times on your calendar.
00:04:30
Don't let anyone hold you up for a meeting when you have planned a longer lunch break.
00:04:36
allow yourself to breaks that will get your head out of the grindstone,
00:04:41
even if you're fully absorbed in an exciting job.
00:04:44
Lift your head up,
00:04:46
get back into your body and heart and breathe.
00:04:49
30 seconds is enough.
00:04:51
Take advantage of these mini moments of mindfulness
00:04:55
and perspective to ask yourself the question,
00:04:58
What do I want now?
00:04:59
What do I want now?
00:05:01
Put yourself back at the center of the life balance equation.
00:05:06
Those who say they are satisfied with their private and professional life balance,
00:05:13
listen to their needs and desires more.
00:05:16
Studies say that we feel balanced in our life whether professional or personal.
00:05:23
when we receive love recognition.
00:05:26
when we feel that we have influence,
00:05:28
power over our life.
00:05:30
when the work is stimulating,
00:05:34
when we have good relationships.
00:05:36
Perhaps it is on these 4 points that more action should be taken.
00:05:41
Let's move on to the 4th tip.
00:05:44
Setting your boundaries and negotiating at work,
00:05:48
too many people don't ask because they are so sure that they will either be told no
00:05:54
in return or they will be frowned upon.
00:05:57
Express your requests,
00:06:00
express your requests in an assertive and serene manner without complaining,
00:06:05
without being demanding,
00:06:06
without feeling like a victim.
00:06:10
I can't handle this additional file,
00:06:12
or at least not until next Friday.
00:06:15
Say I don't want anyone attached to my team without my input.
00:06:20
I don't have the time to train someone.
00:06:23
I need someone who is directly operational.
00:06:27
I'm getting too much information from you by email.
00:06:30
I don't want to be copied on everything.
00:06:32
Let's go over what information I really need.
00:06:36
Say I need an extra person now to replace the person on leave.
00:06:41
I will not be present in the meeting on Tuesday
00:06:44
at 8 a.m. This schedule does not suit me.
00:06:48
I am willing to take on this new project on the condition
00:06:51
that I can relieve myself of such a file.
00:06:55
Set clear boundaries on your schedule,
00:06:57
ideally as soon as you start the job.
00:07:00
Reset the boundaries if you let yourself slip.
00:07:03
It's never too late.
00:07:05
Give yourself the right to disconnect.
00:07:08
Say that you do not take calls after 6
00:07:11
p.m. and that you won't answer emails on vacation.
00:07:14
You don't have to be reachable at all hours.
00:07:17
Turn off your cell phone sometimes.
00:07:19
Educate your superiors,
00:07:22
your colleagues,
00:07:23
and even your clients.
00:07:25
Don't always be reactive and always present on non-priority requests.
00:07:30
Let people find their own solutions.
00:07:32
Even if they will resent you a little,
00:07:35
they will learn to be more autonomous and you will be less and less bothered.
00:07:40
When you are called for help while on vacation,
00:07:43
if you feel that it is not urgent,
00:07:45
let 1 or 2 days go by and then text back saying that you can now be reached.
00:07:51
2 times out of 3,
00:07:53
the problem will have been solved.
00:07:55
You were not so indispensable.
00:07:58
Find support among your colleagues,
00:08:00
someone who wants to leave early like you,
00:08:03
or who wants to go to the pool at lunchtime.
00:08:06
Someone who will defend their right to negotiate
00:08:09
a new telecommuting agreement with the management.
00:08:12
Don't give up at the first refusal,
00:08:15
insist and come back if it's really important to you.
00:08:19
Look for options.
00:08:22
Sheryl Sandberg,
00:08:23
chief operating officer for Facebook,
00:08:26
explains that she was able to negotiate to be
00:08:28
home at 6:30 at night and reopen her computer
00:08:32
two hours after the kids go to bed.
00:08:35
Decide beforehand what to do if your requests are not taken into account.
00:08:41
If all your requests are refused,
00:08:43
it is either totally legitimate or that you have not been assertive enough,
00:08:47
or that it is time to call for help or to open up to other positions.
00:08:53
One last piece of advice when you say no to a file,
00:08:59
don't try to justify yourself right away.
00:09:02
Affirm your choice without having to explain
00:09:05
that you are not doing well or that your child
00:09:07
is sick or that your husband is away on business.
00:09:10
As the old saying goes,
00:09:12
he who apologizes blames himself.
00:09:16
Fifth and final tip
00:09:18
Make your partner a full-time partner,
00:09:21
as Sheryl Sandberg says in her book,
00:09:25
and the will to lead.
00:09:27
There are successful examples of people who
00:09:30
combine their professional and personal lives,
00:09:33
not always perfectly,
00:09:34
but in any case with self-fulfillment.
00:09:38
In addition to the fact that they have learnt not to feel guilty,
00:09:41
they have above all been able to make their partner an ally in this quest for balance.
00:09:48
I am talking more specifically to women in this last section,
00:09:51
but I invite men to continue listening
00:09:54
because more and more of them
00:09:56
have the same questions about how to
00:09:58
reconcile their professional and family lives.
00:10:02
Before I do that,
00:10:03
I would like to come back to a few studies that will
00:10:06
perhaps alleviate the pressure you put on yourself regarding your children.
00:10:12
According to an NICHD study,
00:10:14
the National Institute for Child Health and Human Development in 2006,
00:10:20
children placed in their mother's exclusive care did not develop any differently
00:10:25
than those who were also being taken care of by third parties.
00:10:29
According to the same observatory,
00:10:31
the fact that a mother cares exclusively for her child is
00:10:35
not correlated with a worse or better future for the child.
00:10:40
Mothers therefore have no reason to convince themselves
00:10:43
that they harm their child by choosing to work.
00:10:47
I know I'm not going to teach you anything by telling you that it's better
00:10:51
to be a confident and fulfilled mother
00:10:53
than a perfect one,
00:10:54
that your fulfillment is much better gift to give to others than perfection.
00:10:59
Aim for fulfillment rather than perfection.
00:11:03
Negotiating with your partner and family is the cornerstone of your life balance.
00:11:09
you become an active player again rather than having to endure
00:11:13
internal and societal constraints on your leading role at home.
00:11:18
The last II study showed that women spent 1.5 hours more on domestic chores,
00:11:25
including time with children,
00:11:28
To help some women understand this investment gap in an objective way,
00:11:33
I sometimes had them make an Excel chart of the hours spent on these domestic tasks.
00:11:39
Often men can be a great help because they know how to say,
00:11:43
you're doing too much,
00:11:44
it's not that important.
00:11:46
The children can handle it.
00:11:47
Do you listen to them?
00:11:49
I have coached women who were overworked at
00:11:52
home criticizing the spouse's way of doing things.
00:11:56
I have heard I'm the one who makes all the meals because if I let my husband do it,
00:12:00
it won't be healthy.
00:12:02
I can't leave him alone with the kids for a weekend
00:12:05
with my girlfriends because he won't know how to do it.
00:12:10
delegating to your children and your partner also means accepting that you are not
00:12:15
indispensable and accepting that everything is not
00:12:19
done according to your perfect vision.
00:12:22
With your partner,
00:12:23
the first step may be to calmly establish a list of household tasks to be completed.
00:12:30
Their priority and who does what for the moment with a mind map or Excel table,
00:12:38
I insist on your state of mind.
00:12:40
You will not be able to build
00:12:41
and negotiate anything constructive with your children
00:12:45
and partners if you do so in an attitude of complaint or demand.
00:12:50
Don't try to make your partner feel guilty.
00:12:53
Do not come to them as a victim,
00:12:56
but as an assertive and lucid woman aware that she
00:13:00
is also 100% responsible for the state of affairs.
00:13:04
After having made this inventory of tasks,
00:13:07
you will be able to express your needs and look for solutions
00:13:12
Here are a few ideas that will help you improve your balance.
00:13:17
To make the children more responsible for certain tasks,
00:13:20
setting the table,
00:13:21
folding laundry,
00:13:22
doing their homework,
00:13:24
prohibiting your children from bothering you at certain times,
00:13:28
accepting that your child has one less hobby,
00:13:32
because it's too much for you to handle,
00:13:35
alternating driving the kids to kindergarten between you and your companion.
00:13:40
Hiring a babysitter more often or a housekeeper or a
00:13:44
school tutor to help the children with their homework.
00:13:48
Of course this has a cost,
00:13:50
but it can be largely covered by your next promotion.
00:13:54
Decide that half the time your spouse should take the day off when your child is sick.
00:13:59
Let your partner do more shopping,
00:14:02
even if it's not as good.
00:14:03
Take a weekend with friends every 4 months,
00:14:06
ordering groceries online or having a pizza delivered once a week.
00:14:11
Cleaning only once every 2 weeks instead of twice a week,
00:14:15
leaving the children to family and friends more often,
00:14:18
even if it means watching their children from time to time,
00:14:22
reserving Thursday evenings for you,
00:14:24
either to go out or to stay late at work
00:14:27
while your partner takes care of everything at home.
00:14:31
Come with a multitude of solutions,
00:14:33
brainstorm with your partner.
00:14:35
Talk about how important your career and life balance is to you.
00:14:40
Weigh the pros and cons of each idea and make decisions,
00:14:44
then test the new system with your entourage and your children.
00:14:49
Thank you for watching this cycle of 2 videos on life balance.
00:14:53
A reminder of the 5 tips in this video.
00:14:58
make choices and own them.
00:15:01
delegate at work.
00:15:04
think about yourself.
00:15:06
assert yourself and negotiate at work,
00:15:10
make your partner a full-time partner.
No elements match your search in this video....
Do another search or
back to content !
